Silly Survey
June 28, 2023
Coming across my feed this morning was a revitalization roadmap survey being promoted by the fine folks at the St. Catharines Downtown Association. You know, the same people who support themselves off the backs of involuntary donations from struggling downtown business owners and have to resort to enumerating the number of pollinator gardens they plant as a metric of the value they provide to members. Dawn Dodge, last rumored to be one of the councilors in Grantham, would be so proud. But I digress.
Back to the survey. Your feedback about the downtown corridor is critical to help create a distinct and inclusive location, they say. Uh oh. As soon as you hear a buzzword like “inclusive,” you know where this is going. Right into the gutter. But I figured, what the hell. Let’s see what these wonderful people have in mind, I thought. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
If I wasn’t already convinced this survey was going to be nothing but a steaming hot pile of manure, the first screen confirmed it. I mean, can’t they even be bothered to spell the name of their own city correctly?
And again, here in the next screen. Really? How on Earth do they expect us to take them seriously?
Moving on, after a series of demographic questions in which “prefer not to answer,” always my favorite response, was sadly not an option, there was this:
In other words, what the hell are you doing here? At least that’s the first thought that came to my mind when I saw this question. Not a multiple-choice question about what you like about the city and the region with an option to add any additional thoughts. But at least they spelled the city’s name correctly this time. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.
This next question is interesting. And of course, a leading question. Just like all these surveys are designed to do. Lead you into giving an answer they want to hear. Because no one would answer “yes” to this question. There’s practically nothing by way of services or amenities downtown. So naturally, they offer a list of services and retail establishments you feel would “compliment” your community. Good help is so hard to find. But again, I digress.
The SCDA will certainly get no compliments from me.
The choices, however, were interesting. Coffee shops, basic grocery store, boat/recreational amenity rentals, micro brewery, professional services (attorney, insurance, etc.), bookstore, electronics store, natural foods store, convenience store, fishing store, family friendly dining, date night dining and the ubiquitous “other.” I can’t think of a better way to bring back the glory days of downtown than to bring in a boat rental place. I don’t know why I’ve never thought of it myself before. See, the SCDA does provide real, tangible value to its members. The skeptics be damned.
Another leading question. Of course people support downtown revitalization efforts. But I answered “no.” Not because I don’t support it. Rather, I don’t support those who want to use this survey to help gain a greater mandate from our municipal government to “fix” the problems they helped create. Yes, SCDA, I’m talking to you. If all you can do for your members is Fam Jam and the Holi Festival of Color, well, the whole lot of you need to be shown the door.
Next up was a series of vague questions on housing. Including this one:
For some reason, I couldn’t help but be reminded about the surplus city property on Geneva Street that’s been sitting idle for more than three years which city council can’t won’t sell because they won’t drop the social-engineering clause they’ve attached to any potential sale. Could provide a lot of housing, but we’ve got our principles, damn it. Then again, keep taxing people out of house and home and driving businesses away and the housing problems kind of take care of themselves because no one will want to live here. See, your government is hard at work creating solutions to problems that plague our community.
Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have any words of wisdom that can help revitalize our downtown.
But neither does the SCDA. Giving them more of a mandate will only exacerbate the problem.
Which is exactly the goal of surveys like these.
It’s not about helping the community.
It’s about self-preservation for public-sector bureaucracies.
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