The Garden City Refugee

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On the Road – Egg McMuffins, Gay Cookies, Nauseating Government Propaganda and More

February 2, 2023

Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s bus/train trek to and from the universe’s center:

1. Someone who wants to make sure he’s first in line when the LCBO opens . . .

2. Just before the bus was about to depart Fairview Mall, five guys from Mississauga suddenly ran up to the door and asked the driver to wait while they fiddled about around the ticket machine. As this was going on, one of them ran up to a passing car and grabbed some luggage out of the trunk. Then one of the Mississauga Five asked the driver to wait a little while longer. When she refused, as she was already behind schedule, they finally broke up their town hall meeting at the ticket machine and got on board. As one driver once said, this is public transit, not a taxi service.

3. Dear Metrolinx: Please stop insulting us with those “Thank you for pre-purchasing your fare” messages. It’s not as though we have a choice anymore, since you no longer accept cash on GO buses. And isn’t it about time you got around to replacing the glass in the shelter at the Stoney Creek stop? It’s been several months since it was shattered.

4. Dear City of Hamilton: At the light on Centennial Parkway by the Confederation GO stop, please consider adding an electric eye sensor on the side of the street where GO and HSR buses depart. Since there was no traffic coming from Walmart on the other side of the street where there is a sensor, when trying to make a left turn at Centennial, we were kept there for several minutes until the GO driver finally got out of the bus and pressed the “walk” button at the corner to get a green light.

5. While waiting for the light to turn green, a van from “Love your rug” passed by. It reminded me of Bobby Hull, known for the “rug” on top of his head during his playing days with the Jets, who passed away earlier this week. And yes, I was there the night when Dave Hanson pulled that “rug” off his head. I can still hear the chant of “Birmingham stinks!”

6. Dear Metrolinx: I understand that elevators break down and need to be serviced, as is currently the case at the Burlington GO station, but please stop cavalierly telling the mobility-challenged to board the train at Appleby or Aldershot instead, as you do on your website, and offer a concrete alternative. These are the people least able to get around.

7. I found it interesting that the time on the display boards at Burlington and elsewhere along the line is now shown to the second. In addition, the boards on the platform at Appleby are now informing passengers how many coaches are on the train. Are such things really necessary? Was it really worth the cost?

8. At the Burlington GO station, I needed to use the stall in the washroom, but it was being occupied by someone who had a pile of jackets strewn all over the floor, one of which was draped over a paint can. Since I figured he wasn’t going anywhere for a while, I opted to get on the train and hold it until I got to Union.

9. There were two DWAMs waiting on the platform with their masks covering their mouths, but not their noses. Are people really that stupid?

10. This portly dude looked like a Butterball turkey when perched against a nearby pole.

11. Someone seated in the quad in front of me spent nearly the entire ride to Union chatting with someone in Spanish.

12. I nearly laughed out loud when I saw these pamphlets. “Safety” is a relative term. Only after taking Winnipeg Transit a few times could people in this part of the world truly appreciate what it means to be “unsafe.”

13. Messages spray-painted on the side of a rail car at the Oakville station . . .

14. Boarding at Oakville was a woman in her 30s with frizzy hair who had recently doused herself in some smelly body wash. After taking a seat in my quad, in defiance of Metrolinx policy, she began munching on an Egg McMuffin and was busy texting in between bites. Once finished, Egg McMuffin Lady left her purse behind as she went to the other end of the coach to deposit her trash. And her purse and all of its contents were still there when she got back. Once again, this is not the Old Country.

15. I found it interesting that there were a couple of customer care representatives on the platform at each of the stops along the line. It seemed odd, especially since the vast majority of those traveling early on weekday mornings are commuters who probably know more about getting around on GO than many Metrolinx employees.

16. At Union, much was made on the message boards that the train doors will now be closing one minute before scheduled departure. Geez, what’s the big deal?

17. Video walkthrough through the Bay Concourse to the TTC subway:

18. In my car on the subway was DWAM who had a scarf tightly wrapped around her mask. Some seemingly can’t get enough “protection.”

19. Seated nearby was a DWAM wearing a New York Giants cap who took off his mask while leisurely munching on a muffin he got from Tim Hortons. Apparently viruses aren’t transmitted while you’re eating. But he was at least holding the mask in his hand.

20. Video walkthrough of Yorkdale, the GTA’s largest mall:

21. For those in the market for gay cookies . . .


22. In Yorkdale, I was following an older woman with a tattoo right behind her ear.

23. In the subway on the return trip, I saw the first of what would be a series of nauseating ads from the province. We’re adding more beds, they say. We’re reducing wait times for surgeries. It’s bad enough that People’s Commissar Ford is forcing us to fund his party, now he’s dipping into our pockets in the name of the government to pay for his propaganda.

23a. If Ford really gave a shit about the health care system he helped to cripple, he wouldn’t have allowed thousands of front-line workers to be fired for not taking genocidal poison injections.

24. Speaking of nauseating ads, there was this one from the CBC. No, communism is not “a Canada thing.”

25. Also in the subway was a notice stating that Health Canada was looking into the safety of some drug. This from the same agency that still uses our money to promote those aforementioned genocidal poison injections. You’ll have to pardon me if I don’t take anything they say seriously.

26. Boarding the subway was a Chinese woman wearing a pink toque with BIG WHITE written on it. Shrug.

27. Once again, getting through to the clerk at the A & W in Eaton Center proved more difficult than my experience at Place Ste-Foy in Québec in a language I’m hardly fluent in. I understand that it’s difficult to get people to work these minimum-wage jobs, but surely they can find someone who can speak and understand English properly.

28. While waiting for my order, someone came up to the counter and asked for an Egg McMuffin.

29. In the food court at Eaton Center, I was sitting across from an Asian guy who was proudly showing his buddy a picture of a couple of cucumbers on his phone. If that doesn’t make a compelling case for me to run out and get a smartphone, I don’t know what does.

30. As if the government and CBC ads weren’t bad enough, there was all kinds of stuff like this on display throughout the day. Celebrating black excellence. The TD Gallery of Indigenous Art. Take your “woke” agenda and shove it.

31. Art work on display at Union Station . . .

32. Too bad cash isn’t one of them . . .

33. Also in Union were ads for Costa Rica. It’s meant to be experienced, not explained, they say. I don’t know how much I’d have to be paid to go there.

34. While in line waiting for the bus at Burlington, an older guy in front of me with two rings in his left ear started talking about the cold winter weather. “The US is really getting it bad this year,” he said. “I think the Russians are screwing with the weather just to get back at the Americans.”

I never knew Putin had that kind of power. The things you learn while waiting for a bus.

35. No thank you . . .

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