The Garden City Refugee

On the Road – Wicked Chickens, Firecracker Sandwiches, Finicky Dogs and More

February 15, 2023

Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s bus-bike trek to and from the Falls:

1. Grape pornography?

2. Just off Dorchester near the QEW was a bum wheeling all his worldly possessions in a shopping cart. With a downward grade in front of him, he jumped on the cart and tried to use it like a skateboard.

3. A lesson for misbehaving chickens. Act wickedly and this is where you’ll end up . . .

4. Sounds like they also distribute humans there . . .

5. I would more expect to find firecracker wings and firecracker sandwiches in St. Catharines. The Fireworks City.

 

6. I’m glad I skipped this. Even with our mild winter thus far.

7. Just because you’re deaf or autistic doesn’t mean you’re confined to a wheelchair . . .

 

8. Rather than sticking taxpayers with a $4 million bill for those silly suicide-prevention barriers on the Burgoyne Sendzik Bridge, our former mayor could have just as easily put up signs like this. The number of lives saved would have been about the same.

9. Town hall meeting for the geese . . .

10. Within seconds of locking up my bike at Table Rock, a scruffy bum ambled past me and made a beeline for my bike. Despite the fact that I was only a short distance away, he stopped to eye it up and seemed disappointed that it was locked. I made sure to return quickly and after he spotted me, he mumbled some gibberish and asked me how to get to Fort Erie. He moved on after I pointed to the south, stopping to check for goodies in the trash bins he passed by. Needless to say, I was sure to stick around for several minutes in case he harbored any thoughts of making a return visit.

11. Table Rock all decked out for Valentine’s Day . . .

 

12. The government never misses an opportunity to pat itself on the back . . .

13. War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.

14. This is another of my pet peeves. There is no reason whatsoever why any politician’s name needs to be on this or any other similar sign.

15. Don’t bother using one of the many garbage bins behind you. Just stack your discarded yogurt cups on top of someone’s mailbox.

16. At Third Space Café, they’d rather you not do coke in the bathroom . . .

17. Blue organic delta tea . . .

18. Seated behind me in the aforementioned café was an older couple who were planning what to do with the windfall of money the male half was expecting. “I’m very smart when it comes to making money,” he said. He wanted to buy an RV and tour the country himself, but the woman said she better be included in his plans. As they munched on their breakfast sandwiches, they said they had recently spent three weeks in St. Catharines as one of them needed major surgery and neither the Niagara Falls or Welland hospitals do them.

19. One member of a nearby group was planning a trip to Italy. He said he’d be flying from Toronto to Paris, then to Rome. The Paris to Rome flight would only set him back $100. By going at this time of year rather than waiting for summer, he expected to save $2,000. He went on to tell us about the time he rear-ended someone years ago in icy conditions and got the charge thrown out in court.

20. I applaud the effort to promote their downtown, but there’s just nothing there to promote.

 

21. Spotted in the window of an art dealer . . .

22. Words of wisdom . . .

23. I didn’t know there were any “activities” on Queen Street at all, let alone enough to cause the closure of a bus stop . . .

24. As I stopped for a picture, some guy walking by with his inquisitive dog said, “Yeah, she really loves people.” As if I cared.

25. Not far from this scene was another guy a half a block away who I could hear talking to his dog. When they got around the bushes near where I was seated, the guy told the dog, “Come on, do it, do your business.” But the dog, after sniffing around, found the area unsuitable and didn’t follow its master’s commands.

26. Waiting for the regional bus at Morrison and Dorchester was a black woman with dreadlocks and a ring in her nose toting a bag with “Love is love” written on it.

27. Nearby was a guy wearing a Yankees cap who was bellyaching about having to pay a return fare on regional transit when he goes shopping at Walmart, even if he finishes up within the two-hour transfer period. After complaining that his hair is going gray, he said he was headed to the Pelham Health Center at the corner of Glendale and Pelham Road in St. Catharines for a doctor appointment. It’s all part of the condition he has that caused him to fall asleep while driving and lose his license. He’s now taking medication for that condition.

Yankee Guy is also a Leafs fan and was 10 years old the last time they won the Stanley Cup. He thinks they’re real good, but that they’re not built for the playoffs. He also seemed confused by the NHL’s playoff format. He didn’t understand how the Leafs could get matched up against Tampa Bay, one of the league’s top teams, in the first round.

Though he lives in the Falls now to be closer to his job at the Hilton and spent five years in Toronto, Yankee Guy has lived most of his life in St. Catharines. A bachelor for most of the time, he met his wife, who he has been married to for the last eight years, when he was living on St. George Street. He has only one sibling, a sister who lives in Welland.

As the bus pulled away from the Niagara College stop, Yankee Guy seemed confused as to which bus he was on. For a moment, he thought the bus was going to turn around and head back to the Falls. He said he hadn’t taken regional transit for a year, but it was so much cheaper than taking a taxi. The last time he took a taxi to St. Catharines, it set him back $45.

Yankee Guy went on to say that he is of Ukrainian heritage and celebrates Ukrainian Christmas by making borscht and cabbage rolls. But his culinary skills aren’t just limited to Ukrainian dishes as he often cooks chicken parmesan and Chinese stir-fry.

The things you learn about people on public transit.

28. At the Niagara College stop, some idiot apparently didn’t believe the big “40” on the display and asked the driver if it was the 40B route.

29. Upon getting off at Fairview Mall, a particularly seedy looking community resident bum with a cigarette in his mouth staggered up to the door of a 309 St. Catharines bus. Following a short exchange, the driver closed the door in his face, likely because he was smoking, and took off. “You goof!” yelled the community resident bum as the bus pulled away.

30. Free tire. Or tires.