The Garden City Refugee

Around Town – Dipshits, Muddy Messes, Drunk Drivers and More

January 25, 2023

Highlights and lowlights from another stroll around town:

1. The DWAM is indeed a species going by way of the dodo bird. But there are still some around, and as the narrative crumbles, they stand out more than ever. Such as the following DWAMs I spotted today:

• Someone in a motorized wheelchair riding down a street wrapped up in a blanket to protect her from the “bitter” cold (it was 0 degrees outside) and wearing a mask to protect her from airborne viruses. I mean, what would happen if someone drove up, rolled their window down and, gasp, breathed on her? If she wasn’t already wearing a mask, there’d be no time to put one on. Then she’d almost certainly be infected. Even though she’s probably taken four of five shots by now to “protect” herself, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
• An older woman shoveling snow on her driveway was wearing a mask. She’s undoubtedly seen what happens with people in wheelchairs. She does not want to be caught off guard. Why risk being infected by a driver passing by who rolls down his window and breathes in her general direction? Those viruses are nasty. They seemingly have minds of their own. Once released, they travel through the air and seek out the most vulnerable, even from 50 feet away. That’s why she puts her complete trust in the “science” by wearing a mask, even outdoors, and no doubt has at least four shots of “protection” from our friends at Big Pharma to rely on. You can never be too careful.
• A guy making deliveries to a restaurant also had a mask. Because he and his company really care about their customers. After all, there’s no way they could absolutely guarantee that the delivery guy would be able to stay more than six feet away from everyone in the restaurant at all times, as public health guidelines strongly recommend. So naturally, the mask is essential. Even if everyone in the place is fully “immunized” from this terrible virus.

1a. Right about now, there are only two kinds of people. Those who know that we’ve been taken for a ride for the last two-plus years. And those who don’t want to know.

2. For those looking to study female podology . . .

3. A muddy mess around the site of an apparent watermain break . . .

 

4. Along Vine Street was a guy leaning over his snow blower, filling the tank with gasoline. Did I mention that the guy had a lit cigarette in his mouth?

5. Farther down Vine, I passed by a woman shoveling snow in front of an apartment building. A man stopped to ask her why she was doing it, because it was apparently Dave’s job. “But Dave’s not right, eh?” was her reply.

6. There was an unmistakable odor of beer coming from a guy who walked out of Dollarama, got into his black pickup truck and drove off.

7. Standing outside a bank was a guy on the phone telling someone, “I told him to call me about getting his birth certificate,” while his wife or girlfriend was tying up his long, black hair from behind.

8. In front of a grocery store, a cyclist rode in and exclaimed, “Oh my God, I can see!” when he got out of the snow and underneath the canopy. Maybe he’ll also be able to see that his front tire was nearly flat.