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Around Town – Attention-Starved Joggers, Street Art, Birthday Billboards and More

June 4, 2020

Highlights and lowlights from a stroll around town:

1. Free scissors on Queenston Street:

2. Did they just assume someone’s gender?

3. I’m gathering someone wasn’t impressed with his legal advice . . .

4. Good thing this sign is printed ALL IN UPPER CASE BECAUSE THE KID CAN’T HEAR:

5. Joggers were out and about in the south end of the city this morning. With the extreme heat, most were wearing shorts or loose-fitting pants. But there was one wearing tight, black leather pants accented by a form-fitting hot pink top. She wasn’t out there to keep fit. She wanted attention.

6. Then there was this, ahem, plus-sized woman waddling down Vansickle. On the street, not on the sidewalk, grabbing attention she really shouldn’t want. This is why people should dress modestly and also why there are weight restrictions on roads.

7. Farther up the street was another woman considerably less plus-sized but who also doesn’t believe in dressing modestly as she was walking right on the street showing off the results of an elective procedure to enlarge a pair of body parts. As I passed by, I was surprised she wasn’t handing out business cards from her surgeon.

7a. I’m not enough of an expert to tell if they were silicone or saline. Maybe I should consult one of my neighbors who underwent a similar procedure.

8. Based on the garbage that was left out at the curb, restaurants offering takeout service seem to be doing quite well in spite of Emperor Ford’s lockdown.

8a. Note to self: Next time a politician claims to be pro-business, run for the hills. See Ford, Doug and Sendzik, Walter.

9. The place to go if you need a handbag. But only one.

10. A unique birthday “gift”:

11. No politician’s name needs to be on signs like this. As loyal readers are well aware, this is one of my biggest pet peeves.

12. Who shot J.R.?

12a. I remember being at a Jets game when they flashed the answer on the scoreboard.

13. The construction of the Burgoyne Sendzik Bridge was filled with controversy around these parts, but no one can argue that it isn’t structurally sound as evidenced by the fact that it didn’t buckle as a plus-sized cyclistette wearing a getup about three sizes too small passed me. The manufacturer of the outfit she was wearing also gets top marks as she made it all the way across without the seams bursting.

14. Street art in the downtown:

15. Replace the top caption with “Government Stole Your Freedom?” and I’m in . . .

16. Free paint roller:

17. On Queen Street, I had the pleasure of watching a police officer cajole a community resident bum with a loud, scratchy voice out of the BMO Hilton. Now who says there aren’t any good hotels in the city?

18. In spite of Emperor Ford’s lockdown, the St. Catharines Public Political Library remains a popular meeting place for community residents bums. I don’t have a problem with them being on the grounds, but they could at least use the available garbage receptacles and there’s certainly no need to break windows. If the mayor wants us to show compassion for them, how about they return the favor?

18a. These days, they’re far more likely to be cited for a social distancing violation than for the vandalism or littering.

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