On the Road – Book Hoarders, Cultural Enrichment, Reliable Meals and More
February 4, 2024
Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s bus-train trek to and from the universe’s center:
1. Let’s back up your PC. Then we’ll tell you when the next bus comes . . .
2. Boarding the GO bus at Fairview Mall were two DWAMs™ and a simple looking Asian fellow with a 2022 Canada Summer Games jacket, an indicator that he had likely been genetically modified. In light of the fact that someone else in my circles had recently fallen victim to the death shot, I felt like expressing my condolences and asking him if he had made out his will.
3. There have been more bums in the Burlington GO station of late, but it’s gotten so bad now that the far end of the terminal has pretty much been abandoned to those, ahem, experiencing homelessness. Including the one dude in the gray jacket who said hello to me while playing with his bare feet and another guy who was moaning about his car having recently been stolen.
Worse than the pathetic scene was the smell, something that no camera can capture. Not that I know from any personal experience, but the best way I can describe it is wallowing in the bottom of a BFI dumpster for a few days, because the stench lingered in my nostrils for hours afterward.
4. I can’t imagine how much Metrolinx staffers are being paid to come up with crap like this, along with a similar ad telling us that trains can’t think. . . .
5. Fast asleep at the Union Station Hilton . . .
6. Once again, TTC fare inspectors were checking Presto cards of those who had come off the streetcar and into the subway. Everyone paid except for one homeless guy. “I don’t have one,” he said. And they let him off. Which begs the question as to why the inspectors were there at all.
7. Someone spilled their ice cream treat in the subway car I was in . . .
8. While waiting for a streetcar on Queen Street, I had the pleasure of watching this stoned-out dude who nearly got himself vaccinated crossing the street . . .
9. Not in this neighborhood . . .
10. Get that “air condtioning” fixed . . .
11. For anyone looking to adopt a 26-year-old . . .
12. A parking meter that (gasp!) accepts cash. In Toronto, where they can afford to be picky. All while the man who occupies the office of mayor in our city lays awake at night dreaming of additional barriers he can place in front of those who want to park downtown.
13. Is this still a thing?
14. Protecting and serving terrorist sympathizers and feeding them coffee and donuts . . .
15. Rest assured this wasn’t a place I patronized . . .
16. Seated next to me at the Purple Penguin coffee shop was a couple of Asians speaking with a French accent who were splitting an apple fritter and a bagel sandwich lathered in white guck. One of them noted that Nicholas had just bought her some books, though inside were only signs and pictures. She went on to explain that they recently bought a larger place so they would have more space for books. The place they had been renting previously was so small. But with all that extra space, she said they found themselves buying more stuff, not just books.
Her friend called her a book hoarder and asked if they had considered selling or donating them. She said she had thought about it, but it was so complicated. They’re so heavy and she’d have to rent a car for a day to be able to deliver them somewhere.
Then her friend said how grateful she was to be there with her and went on to say that she asked someone she knew about his immigration agent in Los Angeles and that another friend of hers was looking for a work visa.
The book hoarder then said her birthday was last week and to celebrate, they went to the Rosebud, an Asian and French restaurant. She said it was pricey and the food wasn’t that good. Some dishes were good and creative. Others not. Earlier in the day, Nicholas had sent her on a treasure hunt for her birthday gift, sending her clues on her phone.
17. As this conversation was going on, a fire truck went by with the slogan “Courage, Compassion, Service” written on it without acknowledging our former mayor’s trademark of the word “compassion.”™
18. Not long after leaving the Purple Penguin, a black guy behind me started shouting and coming after me just after I had taken a picture of something across the street. I had to do some fancy footwork and scampered across the street to avoid some, ahem, cultural enrichment. As I departed the scene, the guy he was with asked, “Why did he get so spooked?” Maybe he just wanted to educate me on Black History Month. But I wasn’t about to hang around to find out. Call me a racist.
19. It doesn’t matter if your meal is good, just as long as it’s reliable . . .
20. Not far from this scene was a cyclist on Queen Street without a helmet, though he was wearing a face shield. Because a respiratory virus is far more deadly than a serious head injury.
21. Spotted near St. Lawrence Market was someone wearing a Chipman hat. As a good friend and loyal reader would say, “Loser!”
22. Stop war, play hockey . . .
23. An aspiring artist in his streetside studio . . .
24. Before boarding the Burlington-bound train, I was stopped by some Indian guy holding a phone asking me if this was the Lakeshore West train. Try looking right above you at the big sign that says “Lakeshore West.” Duh.
25. While waiting at Burlington for the #12 bus, some guy with his wife and kid at his side looked up at the board showing that the six-car Union-bound train was arriving soon. So he went to the counter and asked, “How do I get the six?” As if that was the number of the train.
26. On the bus, an older woman who wanted to get off at Grimsby pressed the stop request button above her seat. It didn’t work. So instead of going up front and politely asking the driver to stop there, she began yelling at him. As if it was his fault. Following her incoherent rant, he politely responded, “I don’t understand you.” This prompted her to yell “WOULD YOU DO IT NEXT TIME!” so loud the entire bus could hear.
“Until we get off the highway, don’t distract the driver,” he replied.
When we pulled into the stop, to say the least, she was not a happy camper as she stormed off the bus and into the adjacent parking lot.
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