Pipe Twirling at Fairview Mall
January 24, 2024
For any writer or blogger, public transit often provides a treasure trove of valuable material. And sometimes it comes while waiting for a bus. Such as what happened this morning at Fairview Mall while waiting for a Falls-bound GO bus.
Off in the distance was a scruffy dude with a white beard and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth twirling a couple of large metal pipes while screaming random gibberish at passers-by. Just an everyday occurrence. Or not. Well, it would be considered normal if one was in the degenerate capital of the SPRM. Thankfully, however, I’m not. But I digress.
Despite some serious mental issues that one hardly needed an M.D. after their name to diagnose, White Beard Dude was displaying the skill of a seasoned pro as he twirled the pipes, sometimes two at a time. A career in the circus looked to be in the cards for him. But then he dropped one of them in the bus lane. And that pissed him off. Dealing with failure wasn’t something that came easy to him. It might be something a therapist could help him with. I wondered if it would be covered by OHIP, particularly given his preexisting mental condition.
Eventually, however, White Beard Dude gathered himself, picked up the pipe he dropped before a bus came along and ran over it and meandered over to where passengers like me were waiting for the bus. “You’re safe,” he said to a couple of nearby women. “I only hit men.”
But instead of hitting anyone, he moved on, took one last swig from the can of beer he was drinking and tossed it into a shopping cart before making his way toward the mall entrance. There, he spent several minutes in an engaging and animated conversation with some other guy. No twirling while the two were talking. The twirling would have required his undivided attention.
When the conversation broke up, White Beard Dude, with pipes in hand, strolled inside the mall.
Call it a hunch, but I got the feeling that police were called shortly thereafter.
Just another day at the bus stop.
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