The Garden City Refugee

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Over the River LXX

November 11, 2023

Highlights and lowlights from my 70th two-wheeled trek to the Great State of New York:

1. Waiting at Fairview Mall for the regional bus was an Asian dipshitette who made sure to stand far away from everyone else on the platform. When the bus finally came, rather than take one of the empty seats, she stood by the back door, facing away from the other passengers. This is obviously someone so heavily brainwashed that she’s beyond hope. She probably belongs in a mental institution.

2. I wouldn’t trust their “treatement” for “arthrtis” or anything else . . .

3. The CBP officer who served me at the Rainbow Bridge was a familiar face who I’ve had several times over the past few years. He led off the inspection by asking me, “Just yourself?” No, I’ve got a couple of friends behind me who doused themselves in some invisible paint that they ordered from the Acme catalog. Before sending me on my way, he made sure to tell me that it will be warming up as the day goes on. Thanks for the heads-up.

4. The driver of the #77 bus that took me to Buffalo had several cards with Biblical phrases on them laid out on the dash next to the steering wheel. And it was undoubtedly him who left a pamphlet entitled “A simple outline of God’s way of salvation” on one of the seats near the front.

5. Standing at the corner of Niagara Street and Hertel Avenue was an unkempt middle-aged dude wearing a heavy black winter parka and a frilly rainbow-colored skirt.

6. As the bus turned onto South Division Street, rather than ring the bell, a black kid seated near the back got up, stood by the back door and yelled, “Ahm aht!” Later, as he was walking away from the Metropolitan Transportation Center down Ellicott Street and fiddling around with something inside his pockets, he told a female NFTA employee that she was cute.

7. At the Metropolitan Transportation Center, I was accosted by someone who asked, “Can you give me a couple of dollars to get home?”

8. There were way too many dipshits at the Metropolitan Transportation Center.

9. Football brings us together. Unless it doesn’t. Like when the Bills joined other teams in forcing customers to show proof of having taken genocidal poison injections for the privilege of attending games.

9a. I wonder how Kim Pegula is doing these days. #karma

10. Greetings from Buffalo:

11. A word that comes to mind when considering the putrid odor prevalent in downtown Buffalo . . .

12. I don’t imagine being less promiscuous is an option for such people . . .

13. Love for the 716 . . .

14. Mr. Stupid has a mural all his own . . .

15. Two seats away from me at Penny’s Coffee Bar on Main Street was someone who looked strikingly similar to my dentist.

16. First, there was the House of Pain. Now there’s the House of Charm . . .

17. Please tell me this isn’t another gay-themed mural . . .

18. Waddling past me at the Metropolitan Transportation Center as I waited for my return bus was a fat tub of lard munching on a bag of beef jerky. Yum, yum.

19. Rhetorical question: Why has the NFTA not installed backup horns on their buses? Drivers are still having to honk their horns when backing out of the Metropolitan Transportation Center.

20. Clever bike rack at the Black Rock/Riverside Transit Hub:

21. This sign in Niagara Falls State Park was a popular selfie magnet . . .

22. In front of me in line waiting to pay toll at the Rainbow Bridge was a woman in a white SUV with Virginia plates who was engaged in an animated conversation with the guy in the booth. Exasperated, she finally backed up and turned around. “She demanded to speak to an agent,” was what the guy in the booth told me. In any event, she had an encounter with the CBP in her immediate future as, at that point, even though she hadn’t actually left U.S. soil, it’s beyond the duty free store and you’ve officially attempted to leave the country. To say the least, it would have been interesting to be a fly on the wall for that inspection.

23. Don’t be a dick . . .

24. For some reason, the CBSA officer who served me thought it odd that I had brought a tablet with me. It’s never raised eyeballs on either side before when I’ve declared it.

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