Opportunity Knocks
August 20, 2023
For those of you looking to make a meaningful contribution to our community, a golden opportunity is at hand that you won’t want to miss.
Because there’s an opening on the board of the St. Catharines Downtown Association. They represent members of the downtown Business Improvement Area, they say. Never mind the inconvenient detail that not one single member joined and pays dues voluntarily. They speak for you. Whether you want them to speak for you or not. But I digress.
Your input is invaluable to us, they say. You get to decide how your stolen money is spent. We want to know your ideas and how you feel we can improve. Bring your ideas to the table and be part of the discussion. Join an advisory committee or working group.
Just make sure you don’t bring any ideas to the table that they don’t like. Certainly don’t suggest that they shouldn’t be digging their hands in the pockets of hard-working small business owners. Or that they really don’t need a sustainability director. And whatever you do, don’t point out that they should make more of an effort to spell the name of our city correctly. Oh no, don’t do anything like that. Not only would that promptly get you thrown off the board faster than you can say “BIA Levy,” but you’d be instantly blocked on all social media channels. Dissent is not welcome.
Just to weed out those pesky naysayers, they have that covered in the nomination form. Organizational strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats pertaining to the SCDA must be identified.
The SCDA is always on the lookout for threats to their own jobs.
They also want to make sure you know you’re there to support the work of the SCDA. No mention is made of supporting the business owners they collect levies from tax.
Support the work of the SCDA. To hell with the business owners.
Of course, there’s the standard conflict of interest disclosure statement. A conflict of interest arises when your personal interests conflict, or are perceived to conflict, with the interests of the SCDA, they say. Yet every involuntary member has, by definition, a conflict of interest with the SCDA. So don’t sweat it. If the nonentity who occupies the office of mayor can blow off conflict of interest guidelines, so can you. Conflict of interest is for sissies.
Finally, there’s a demographic section. It’s optional, they say. But let’s face it. Unless you fill it out, your chances of being accepted are about the same as the SCDA suddenly deciding to welcome dissenting opinions. Kind of like our prime minister saying that he never forced anyone to take those lethal poison injections. And it’s not just about filling it out. It’s giving the correct answers. Like that you identify with a made-up gender, use silly pronouns and are a member of the 2SLGBTQ+ community. Bonus points for non-Caucasians and anyone who is Indigenous. As they openly state, they want to gauge their success with respect to attracting diverse individuals to their board.
So don’t wait. Get your application in today.
Otherwise, you might miss out.
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