Dear Yasir Naqvi
July 29, 2023
Dear Yasir Naqvi:
Thank you for your email the other day. I must admit I’ve never heard of you before and I don’t care enough to check you out online. From reading the email, however, it looks like you’re one of the candidates in the running for the leadership of the Red faction of Uniparty Ontario. OK, I know you still use the term “Ontario Liberals.” But you know and I know that all four factions–Blue, Red, Orange and Green–all stand for the same set of values. The only real difference is the color of your election signs. I must say that I don’t know why Uniparty doesn’t formally merge into one. Right now, you’re splitting the vote among the four factions. Without a ranked ballot system, it could potentially allow for outsiders to sneak in. But when you have a monopoly at Queen’s Park, perhaps it’s not a priority right now. You can afford little internal squabbles without affecting Uniparty’s firm and absolute hold on power in the province.
Like the case with your rival Bonnie Crombie, I’m not sure how you got my email address. At first, I thought someone was playing a practical joke on me when I got signed up for a “free” membership with the Red faction. Well, it’s not really “free,” since the Blue faction reinstated the taxpayer funding of political parties that the Red faction first brought in when they held the controlling interest in Uniparty. The leader of the Blue faction made all that public bluster about how taxpayers shouldn’t be funding political parties, but his tune sure changed when the Blue faction assumed controlling interest in Uniparty. I can’t believe I was foolish enough to believe that he really meant it. But I digress. I can only surmise that, as a former member of the Blue faction, they shared my contact information with the Red faction. All for my convenience, of course. It’s only natural that if I’m interested in one faction of Uniparty, I’d be interested in all of them. If there had been more than one candidate for the leadership of the Orange faction, for example, I suppose I would have heard from them as well. As for the Green faction, I must admit that I don’t even know if they have a leader. They probably do. I should check into it. If only for my own curiosity.
Anyway, back to your email. I found it interesting, even though, as expected, it was filled with much of the same rhetoric I’ve seen from others in your faction of Uniparty and in the three other factions as well. Four parties. One voice. I know the drill. I shouldn’t have been surprised to read that, like Crombie, you devoted the early part of your email to attacking the leader of the Blue faction. From my perspective, it seems so counterproductive for fellow Uniparty evangelists to be at each other’s throats. You all share the same values. But again, I digress.
Much of the latter part of your email was focused on health care. You say you’ve been traveling across the province and many have told you about how they struggle to access health care. In your travels, I wonder if you had occasion to speak with the family of the man who recently passed away after being denied a kidney transplant for failure to take Big Pharma’s death shot. I can certainly understand if you didn’t. That could have been a little messy. After all, we know Uniparty’s position on that front. All four factions firmly support the concept of medical segregation and cold-hearted, vindictive policies that deny those who don’t comply with Uniparty’s dark orders the right to equal access to the care they need. Universal access is only for those who do as Uniparty says.
You went on to talk about Ontario’s strained healthcare system. It is indeed a troubling problem. I was curious if you’d be bold enough to think outside the box, but instead, you just parroted Uniparty’s position of fast-tracking the acceptance of the credentials of foreign-trained immigrants. Just like I heard recently from the leader of the Blue faction of Uniparty’s federal arm. So many believe he’s different than the rest of Uniparty. I believed that once too. But he’s not. There’s no reason your kind should have any reason to fear him. But again, I digress. I shouldn’t have been surprised. You are, after all, a loyal Uniparty member. There can be no thought to something as obvious of re-hiring even one of the doctors or nurses Uniparty fired for failure to take that lethal shot. A message needs to be sent. The orders of Uniparty are to be followed to the letter. There shall be no mercy to anyone who resists. Uniparty is the master. You are the servant. The lives of the minions mean nothing. The eternal glory of Uniparty means everything. Somewhere, George Orwell is smiling.
Of course, like all politicians seeking office, you need money for your campaign. So you wind up your email by asking for even more of mine, despite the fact that you and every other Uniparty member are able to treat taxpayers like free ATMs. Clearly, even that isn’t enough. It reminds me of the quote from then-Washington Redskins owner Edward Bennett Williams when asked why he fired his coach, George Allen. “He had an unlimited budget and he exceeded it,” said Williams.
While I’m sure you’d make a fine leader of Uniparty’s Red faction, I really don’t need to hear any more of your vision of how you want to restore the promise of Ontario. In reality, all you really want is for the Red faction to recapture controlling interest in Uniparty. And the money you’re already hoovering from my bank account is going to have to be enough.
Stop wasting your time and mine. You’re not getting my support. Or my vote.
I’m done with Uniparty.
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