On the Road – Fish Heads, Urban Campsites, Rising Concrete and More
July 22, 2023
Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s bike/bus trek to and from Hamilton and Burlington:
1. Waiting at the bus stop at Fairview Mall was a heavy-set bearded dude wearing a black Native Pride cap and a T-shirt from a bar in “Beautiful Downtown Merritton” and puffing on a cigarette.
2. Soon after Big Bearded Dude’s arrival came a spaced-out woman with florescent orange fingernails and wearing a black sleeveless top who put some money on her Presto card. She quickly puffed her way through two cigarettes, only to realize she had lost that same Presto card. She promptly enlisted Big Bearded Dude to help her scour the parking lot for it, but they quickly gave up and Orange Fingernail Babe seemed resigned to the loss. “I’ll have to pay with debit,” she said. “I’ve lost mine too,” said Big Bearded Dude of his own Presto card. But then Orange Fingernail Babe gave it another try and finally found it.
3. Not long after this affair came another woman, this one decked out in a red hoodie from The Ohio State University, the alma mater of the late Tim Gassen, founder of the WHA Hall of Fame.
4. While on the bus, using her phone as a mirror, Orange Fingernail Babe was doing her eyebrows, applying eyeliner and putting on makeup. I would have had a bird’s eye view of the disaster that would have resulted if the driver had to stop suddenly.
5. Another cyclist also disembarked at Stoney Creek, but despite having an empty bike rack available to him when he boarded before St. Catharines, he opted to store his bike in the luggage compartment.
6. There shall be no more gain in Hamilton . . .
7. Along Cannon Street, the green markings at Sherman Avenue make it obvious as to when and where to cross over and use the two-way cycle track on the opposite side. But with no other signage present, picture this scene with several cars beside you, as what happened with me on past visits. “You’re just supposed to know” doesn’t cut it.
8. Mural of a fish head . . .
9. A four-waygay intersection along Ferguson Avenue. Before taking this picture, I was pleased to see someone, as I later did, making an effort to walk around the rainbow colors on his way across the street.
10. No flag women. No transgenders or gender-fluid flag people. Flag men only.
11. One of many urban encampments around town . . .
12. “Specs” of dust among cosmic sands . . .
13. Gay soldiers?
14. It looks white to me, but maybe I should get my eyes checked.
15. I don’t get it.
16. This forecast is probably about as accurate as the ones we get from the so-called “professionals” . . .
17. You mean they don’t allow public swimming?
18. New Tiger-Cats-themed display outside city hall . . .
19. Or just let the law of natural selection run its course . . .
20. Outside the Hamilton GO Center was a Muslim man pacing up and down in front of the building with his wife at his side. He seemed friendly, though, and told me to have a nice day.
21. Heading west on King Street at Dundurn, I found myself in this rather uncomfortable and dangerous position. Cycling in Hamilton is like the girl with the little curl. When she’s good, she’s very, very good. But when she’s bad, she’s very, very bad.
22. More gayness on display at McMaster . . .
23. I stopped for a break at the Paisley Coffee House in the Westdale neighborhood. I hardly got the impression my business was appreciated and the music was blaring so loud I could barely hear myself think. Rest assured I won’t be back.
24. Near the front entrance, they were selling black T-shirts and hoodies with their logo plastered on them. Do they really expect people to pay to advertise for them?
25. A couple seated behind me were busy with their phones rather than talking to each other. With the music being so loud, perhaps it’s the only way they could communicate.
26. Across from me was a simple-looking woman fawning over an old, scruffy dude in the corner who had a scribbler in front of him. Shrug.
27. Walking by as I was unlocking my bike was a guy wearing a T-shirt featuring the logo of the Mark Chipman Personal Hockey Club. As a good friend of mine would say, “Loser!”
28. Let the record reflect that the construction along Plains Road in Burlington, which began nearly a year ago, is still far from complete. As I’ve said before, they’re obviously working to a Manitoba timeline and not an Ontario timeline.
29. Spotted in the food court at Mapleview was a guy who could have passed for Klaus Schwab, the would-be supreme ruler of the planet and head of the despised World Economic Forum.
30. The scantily-dressed woman in the Mapleview food court who obviously fell asleep on a tanning bed should seriously consider covering up a little more and try not to make her transgression so obvious.
31. Along Fairview Street at Maple Avenue, the GO bus I was on was stuck behind a dump truck with its four-way flashers on. A heavy-set guy from Toronto carrying a long paint roller boarded and told the driver that the dump truck hit a “posh.”
“What?” the driver asked.
“A posh. The guy’s having a really bad day.”
As the bus made its way around the dump truck, I saw that it had rear-ended a white Porsche. But maybe it was a posh Porsche.
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