Used Pants For Sale
December 30, 2022
Though I haven’t purchased anything on eBay for many years now, an interesting item posted there came to my attention recently. Here is a screen shot of the auction in which the former Atlanta Thrashers franchise which Manitoba taxpayers were forced to purchase for Mark Chipman is trying to unload a pair of used hockey pants worn by one of its former players:
OK, I admit it. When I was a Jets season ticket holder back in the 1980s, they had me hook, line and sinker. I lived and died with the team’s fortunes. The Jets were an obsession. I bought a lot of novelties and memorabilia and only wish they had half the stuff available back then that they do today. I’d have loved a game-worn jersey or a program autographed by a player. But even at the height of my fandom, I can confidently say that I would never have wanted, say, Dale Hawerchuk’s or Morris Lukowich’s used pants. At any price. That’s almost creepy. Oh boy, Dale Hawerchuk stuck his jock strap in there. Where’s my credit card? No, I was never that bad.
This almost has a Slap Shot feel to it. Looking at the auction, I could almost hear Joe McGrath talking about how he’s got a skate sharpener, a Jacuzzi and the team bus for sale. One has to wonder if Anita McCambridge bought the team and is looking for a tax write-off.
Seeing such a thing, however, raises a much bigger question than who, if anyone, would be dumb enough to fork over a sum anywhere close to $300 for a piece of used equipment stained by the sweat from a player’s genitals. And that’s how desperate is this team is for hard currency. I mean, the NHL is a multi-billion-dollar enterprise. Asking $300 from any of its teams, even one in a small market like Winnipeg, is akin to asking the average person on the street for a nickel. That they are resorting to selling such things online to scrounge up a few extra bucks is, along with the empty seats, another strong indicator that this team is in some serious financial trouble. Even the millions taxpayers involuntarily fill their coffers with obviously aren’t enough to keep the lights on these days.
As Reggie Dunlop might say, next up could be recycled jock straps.
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