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On the Road – Subway Sleepers, Bad Spellers, Double Backpacks and More

July 31, 2022

Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s voyage to and from the universe’s center:

1. Broken bottle at the Fairview Mall bus stop . . .

2. After standing next to a working and unoccupied ticket machine for over 10 minutes, a woman boarded the bus and expected the driver to sell her a ticket. The driver asked if the machine wasn’t working, but he did sell her a ticket, which she paid for using the new debit/credit card reader near the Presto reader right by the driver. It’s good to see they’re going back to selling tickets on the bus, but I want to see cash accepted as a method of payment again.

3. Soon after departing Fairview Mall, a woman in her early 30s wearing a white hoodie got on her phone and left a long, rambling message for someone. She led off with the line, “The only constant in life is change,” and proceeded to tell us her face feels like it’s being eaten from within and her eyes are stinging. She’s been talking to Telehealth, she said, and apparently she has a staph infection. She’s going to be getting a CT scan and was on her way to Toronto for some antibiotics. “You guys are an amazing resource,” she said before hanging up.

After putting her phone away, she held her hands tightly over the earphones she was wearing and looked to be mouthing the words to the songs she was listening to. Later, as we passed Grimsby, she leaned forward and put both her elbows on the yellow railing in front of the window.

4. Head over to Fairview Street to hail a chicken . . .

5. Spotted in Union Station was someone wearing a T-shirt with the slogan “Real Choice.” Real choice sure isn’t something our government believes in.

6. I guess I can’t apply since my name isn’t Bud . . .

7. It’s a designated waiting area, not a designated sleeping area . . .

8. Aboard the subway car I boarded was another tight sleeper. This one, whose dirty-blond, straggly hair was covering his face, had his hands tucked inside his sweatshirt and was leaning against a pole while seated.

9. Also aboard the same car was a younger woman wearing a sleeveless top and faux eyelashes who had such an expression of sadness on her face I expected to start crying at any moment. Perhaps she recently got the bill for those tattoos that were up and down her arm.

10. For those allergic to asthma . . .

11. Parking fail . . .

12. The birthplace of coffee? I think not.

13. For those so inclined . . .

14. I nearly burst out laughing when I saw this. They want volunteers to test a second experimental drug to treat symptoms of a virus the first experimental drug the subjects likely took to protect them from and didn’t. Sounds like a plan. Or not.

14a. A guy passing by on the street thought I was taking a picture of the abandoned building. The place had deteriorated quite a bit in recent years, he said, but it has new owners now.

15. Not far from this scene, I spotted a cyclist with a front and back carrier, each holding a dog.

16. Think twice “befor” going into a place like this . . .

17. Free boots . . .

18. “Your” on camera too . . .

19. Pick up some “stationary” . . .

20. And now it’s been found . . .

21. The first two injections most took weren’t worth the risk either . . .

22. Video walkthrough of Riverdale Park:

23. The alert viewer will notice that the woman on the bridge let her dog off the leash. Afterward, she smiled at me as if it was something she was proud of, then her dog took after a couple of other nearby canines. “No, don’t do that!” she shouted to her dog as the three of them got into quite the kerfuffle. I didn’t stick around to film it all.

24. For anyone looking to rent a gay bike . . .

25. Spotted on Parliament Street was a woman walking outside on the sidewalk with a mask and a face shield. Hard as it is to believe, there are people out there who still buy into all this nonsense.

26. Off Carlton Street was someone wearing a T-shirt with the slogan “I speak fluent sarcasm.”

27. I had a heck of a time getting through to the clerk who served me at the A & W on Church Street, especially with the music they had blaring in the background. Worse yet, she was almost chastising me as if English was my second language, not hers. Look, I have no problem with newcomers getting opportunities here. But I deeply resent them treating me as if I’m the immigrant in my own country.

28. Dear A & W: Your new sponsorship deal with the Buffalo Toronto Blue Jays doesn’t make me want to come back.

29. Available inside de store . . .

30. Judging from those who disembarked at Exhibition on my return trip, the Caribbean Carnival would be better termed the Blubber Carnival.

31. Further to the above point regarding immigrants whose command of English leaves something to be desired, I present this oratory from the customer service ambassador. Metrolinx (and their customers) would be much better served by insisting their employees speak fluent English instead of take poison injections.

31a. Speaking of poison injections, if I said that the possibility of my bus driver suddenly dropping dead didn’t cross my mind more than once, I’d be telling you a lie.

32. Watch out for the No Sleep Gang . . .

33. Backpack hanging from a backpack . . .

34. For those who haven’t taken the Niagara-bound bus from Burlington recently, that bus now leaves from the platform at the opposite end of the terminal, where passengers can at least wait in line under a canopy.

35. I’ve seen this before, but with the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the QEW, someone pulled over to the shoulder in Grimsby to take a piss. But unlike the case with so many in the Old Country, at least the guy made an effort to be discreet.

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