On the Road – Lazy Tourists, Rainbow Planters, Masked Idiots and More
July 12, 2022
Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s excursion to and from Hamilton:
1. Free bicycle tires near the stop at Fairview Mall. And even though the tube was worthless, the valve core looked salvageable. I do go through a fair number of them.
2. Boarding ahead of me at Fairview Mall was a younger guy toting suitcases who kept asking the driver, “You’re going to Aldershot? You’re going to Aldershot?” After being told the bus only goes to Burlington, where he’d have to take a brief train ride to Aldershot, the persistent guy finally took his seat, only to get up to ask the driver for more directions. As I’ve said before, buses are not mobile tourist information booths. For all their faults, Metrolinx provides plenty of information for travelers on their website. But sadly, there will always be that segment of the population who find it easier to harangue the driver instead.
3. To my amazement, there were no more plastic shields between the seats on the bus. For sure there will another outbreak of the virus now! What happened to Metrolinx’s boast that safety never stops?
4. Walking down the platform after getting off at Stoney Creek, I passed by a woman who let out a shriek as she was going through her large purse, evidently freaked out over having forgotten or lost something important. I felt her pain. We’ve all been there.
5. Optimism needed . . .
6. I waited for the connecting Barton bus near this semi-permanent encampment where at least two community residents bums were passed out. Alongside the tree in the far left of the picture was a sign stating that there were hidden cameras around and that they’d be back. As if anyone would want their junk.
7. Not far from this scene was a sign that read “You’re golden. Make a wish. We like your vibes dude.”
8. I understand that the Presto machine on the Barton bus was deliberately placed low to the ground to accommodate those in wheelchairs, but the rest of us had to squat down to put our cards on the reader.
9. Boarding at Kenora Avenue was a woman with a picture of a cup of tea on her shirt next to the slogan “It’s a tea shirt.”
10. Outside a sub shop was a sign, “Wanted: Sub maker. Reward: A weekly paycheck.”
11. An older woman with a walker whose daughter works in a medical center was lamenting the recent Rogers network outage that caused the office’s phones to go down.
11a. Those of us who have no need for a smartphone and rely on their old-fashioned landline instead of VoIP, of course, weren’t affected.
12. Along Barton Street was a place called Kris Painting and Roofing. It reminded me of the time many years ago when a former colleague who claimed to be a big fan of the (real) Jets couldn’t name the three NHL-era Jets named Kris, the name of another colleague.
13. Whereas there was only one stroller on the Barton bus, there were two on the Upper Wentworth bus I was on that took me to Lime Ridge Mall. The mother pushing one of those two strollers was having a heck of a time with her five- or six-year-old daughter, who kept running around and ringing the bell before they finally got off near at a church that offers day care.
14. On that Upper Wentworth bus was an ad from HSR stating “Our doors are open to everyone. Our priority is equity, diversity and inclusion.” This in a city whose councilors want to fire hundreds of workers for refusing genocidal poison injections.
15. Video walkthrough of a largely deserted Lime Ridge Mall:
16. You can buy anything in vending machines these days, including pieces of gay cake . . .
17. Someone dropped their shopping list outside Fortinos . . .
18. I wonder if they package these positive energy drinks with the Swami Baha’s positive-thinking records that Dave “Killer” Carlson swore by in Slap Shot. One with the universe, one with the universe . . .
19. Hearing sirens from an ambulance near the corner of Upper Wentworth and Mohawk, I couldn’t help but wonder if the paramedics were rushing to tend to another victim of those poison injections.
20. Rainbow-colored flowers in a rainbow-colored planter. How welcoming and inclusive of them . . .
21. Not to our government we don’t . . .
22. Poor Finn lost his exercise book . . .
23. On East 19th Street was a slender woman wolfing down the last of her breakfast alongside her heavy-set husband. He was dressed in a tight T-shirt and had tits that were bigger than his wife’s. They were both standing on their porch carrying on a conversation with some nearby city workers who were trimming a tree.
24. For those who need their gay dogs groomed . . .
25. Video walking down the mountain on Arkledun Avenue:
26. Shortly after turning off my video camera, a cyclist whizzed by and weaved out into the middle of the right-hand lane as he was madly pedaling while turning a corner. It’s bad enough here in Niagara, but in Hamilton, where the escarpment is much higher, you need to apply your brakes when going down, not pedal to pick up speed. To say the least, that was a serious accident waiting to happen. For his sake, it was good that there was a hospital nearby.
27. How about watching neither?
28. Methinks the recent nationwide outage is going to be haunting Rogers for some time . . .
29. Video walkthrough of the MacNab Transit Terminal:
30. While in the food court at Jackson Square, someone took a seat nearby, opened up a big tub of yogurt and began scooping up the contents with pieces of bread he was tearing off a loaf. Yes, he did have a spoon.
31. Elsewhere in Jackson Square, a mother pushing a stroller stopped in the middle of the aisle to chat with an older guy she knew. She said her mother, who has arthritis, is back in the hospital after her joints all flared up to the point that she couldn’t move.
32. Not far from this scene, I noticed that the sign for Hear Right Canada was all in lower case. Shouldn’t it be in upper case FOR THOSE HARD OF HEARING?
33. Also not far from this scene was a guy walking past the drug store filming himself while (truthfully) telling his audience that the government’s response to the virus is designed to humiliate you.
34. According to a salon in Jackson Square, eyebrows speak louder than words. Which, in a sense, is true if you’re foolishly willing to part with $20 for the privilege of having them style your eyebrows for you.
35. Video walkthrough of the Jamesville district:
36. Passing me (shown in the video) was a young punk on a skateboard wearing a cap with the slogan CASH ONLY. I’d liked to have stopped him to ask where he got that cap.
37. Many had gathered in the aftermath of the incident that caused this damage . . .
38. Posters like these were all around town. And to those who put them up, I say put your money where your mouth is. Give up your own land.
39. I was accosted for money twice on James Street. The first time was by a younger kid of unknown gender with a nose ring and covered in tattoos who asked “Can you spare me some change?” in a high-pitched voice. The second was by an older guy sitting on a bench who grunted “Spare change.” Just a statement. Not a question.
40. Inside a shelter on Main Street was a woman wearing a T-shirt with the slogan “Can’t be tamed.” From the size of her, she must really be wild anytime she gets within a few blocks of a Dairy Queen.
41. Boarding the B-Line Express ahead of me was an old biddy who decided to stop in the middle of the aisle to chat with someone. Only after her companion pulled her aside could the rest of us get on.
42. The guy manning the booth at Island Ink-Jet in Eastgate Square had something serious stuck in his front teeth and was determined to remove it.
43. Not good tires, just decent ones . . .
44. I think that if someone goes through the trouble to climb up there and paint this, it’s safe to say that such a person is not okay.
45. Passing me on Centennial Parkway was a young kid wearing a T-shirt with the slogan “I don’t speak much because I’m brilliant and I’m busy thinking.”
46. It would be nice if Metrolinx decided to add a ticket machine as part of their grand plans for a fancy new station at the Confederation GO stop . . .
47. Hailing a cab or giving a salute that was first popularized in a large central European country in the 1930s?
48. Maybe Theresa or Bad Dog was responsible for smashing out the glass in the shelter at the Confederation GO stop . . .
49. The only other person waiting at the Confederation GO stop was an older guy carrying a plastic bag from BMV Books. A few minutes after I arrived and sat down at the other end of the bench, he got up, put on a mask and walked over to the covered bike rack, where he stood for about 10 or 15 minutes while I nearly laughed out loud at his stupidity. Evidently sick of standing, he returned to sit down, but he made sure to keep his distance from me and sat at the very end of the bench in the drafty shelter.
Several minutes later, the 18K bus arrived. Even though it was clearly signed Aldershot GO, he decided to ask the driver if he was going to St. Catharines. Just in case. If you don’t ask, you never know, I suppose.
Some time later, this genius decided to put his life at risk and approach me.
“I’m about ready to give up on this guy,” he blurted out.
“The Niagara bus?”
“Yeah.”
He proceeded to pull out a piece of paper from his bag where he had written down the scheduled times and read them off to me. Wherever he got them from, I’ll never know, but he claimed a bus was long overdue. It wasn’t. I told him when it was scheduled to arrive, yet he still didn’t believe me.
“They must have cut back service,” he said.
Not that I was aware.
“Must have been bought out by VIA Rail. Piss-poor service.”
Then he suggested it might be easier to take a bus to Aldershot and take the train to Niagara from there.
After a few minutes of stewing, he went on to say that he suspected they skipped the stop unless you let them know. “They do that when they’re running behind.”
Not that I was aware.
Several minutes later, he asked “So what do you think?”
At that point, the bus was indeed late. But there was a lot of traffic. I just shrugged my shoulders.
“If a Hamilton bus comes, I’m going to jump on it.”
If you’re going to St. Catharines, what good is that going to do you? But if it’s going to make you feel better, go for it.
Finally, our bus came. He got on after me, and after asking the driver if he was going to St. Catharines (it is clearly signed), he tapped his Presto card and went upstairs to find a seat. The driver waited for him to sit down. But then the guy came back down the stairs and headed for the door.
“I didn’t think it would be this busy,” he said to the driver as he tapped his card again and left the bus.
The driver took off, leaving the guy to wait again, presumably for a less crowded bus.
You can’t make stuff like this up.
50. In a familiar scene, some idiot at Grimsby asked the driver of a bus with a big, lighted NIAGARA FALLS sign out front if he’s going to Burlington.
51. After disembarking at Fairview Mall, I was sickened to see a mother in a motorized scooter puffing on a cigarette with her two young daughters sitting next to her.
52. When in Toronto or elsewhere in the GTA, I definitely know I’m in a different city, but I didn’t have that feeling yesterday in Hamilton. I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe it’s because of the time I spend downtown St. Catharines and around seedy Queenston Street.
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