On the Road – Selling Salt, Compounding Lives, Shampoo Detailing and More
May 9, 2022
Highlights and lowlights from today’s two-wheeled trek to and from Welland:
1. For those who use the trail, a portable washroom is again available near the park at Highway 20, so you don’t need to go behind the building to answer the call of nature. Interestingly, the washroom is also wheelchair accessible. Not that I’ve ever seen anyone in a wheelchair using the trail in my nearly eight years in this part of the world.
2. Springtime in Niagara also means swarms of midges are out. Keep your mouth closed unless you want to swallow one. Like I did.
3. The section of the trail which passes E.S. Fox Construction was badly in need of work and I was pleased to see that it’s getting worked on. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out until I actually got to the construction site as there was no advance signage at Port Robinson, where the logical detour begins. All I got was a limp shoulder shrug from one of the workers before having to double back. Furthermore, there were no notifications from the Niagara Cycle Tourism Center, which is normally on top of trail closures. As many other cyclists passed me by on the day, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one more than a little peeved. This is the kind of thing I’d expect in the Old Country, not here.
4. Spotted on Niagara Street was a woman in her late 40s with the left half of her scalp shaved and the hair on the right half dyed dark purple who was escorting two children to school. Welcome to Welland.
5. This office is close . . .
6. Many billboards like these were around town. If there’s one part of the world where salt manufacturers don’t need to advertise, it’s Ontario.
7. In case any Wellander needs their life compounded . . .
8. Maybe the government will force you to take poison injections for this virus too . . .
9. While stopping to take the above picture, a truck from Bison Transport passed by. As I’ve said many times before, the SPRM does keep following me around.
10. A guy on the street puffing on a cigarette stopped me and asked if I had a toonie. Yeah, but not for him. And as I’ve said before, if you’ve got money for smokes, you don’t need any extra from me.
11. Walking into a downtown cafe I hadn’t been in before, I had expected a friendly greeting where I would be asked what I’d like to have. Instead, the owner stared me down with a little suspicion as if to ask, “What the hell are you doing here?” It was the same with an Asian woman who came in soon after. She took a seat at the counter and kept looking back at me with the same bubble caption over her head. Perhaps it was because I don’t look like a Wellander. Which I’ll take as a compliment.
12. The aforementioned Asian woman seemed to be a regular who normally arrives earlier. The owner asked if she had slept in.
13. While seated at a nearby table, I listened as the owner bitched about some gas station in Port Colborne that has the highest prices in the entire region. He went on to complain that his wife’s snow tires didn’t fit her hubcaps and that she had to drive all winter with some crappy black hubcaps instead. Later, when an Italian contractor working outside came in to introduce himself, he said, “We don’t get too many Italians in here.” Based on the reaction to my presence, they don’t get too many non-Wellanders in there either.
14. While moving a bench in front of the cafe, the contractor said that business was good but the biggest problem they’re having is getting materials. That’s what happens when you vote for a prime minister who regularly puts his ego ahead of the best interests of the country.
15. Humorous sign in the bathroom: Keep your aim keener so we can keep the bathroom cleaner.
16. It didn’t come as a surprise to see so many signs for Jeff Burch, the incumbent orange NDP MPP, but it was still disappointing. It reminded me of Charles Barkley’s quote, “Poor people have been voting Democrat for 50 years and they’re still poor.”
17. On the day, I did not spot one sign for the blue NDP, known more formally as the Ontario PC Party. This in a riding that came close to electing a Conservative MP in the last federal election.
18. Spotted on Niagara Street was a place offering shampoo detailing. Why would you need to detail shampoo?
19. I was shocked at the amount of traffic throughout the city. It’s Welland. It’s not as though anyone actually works there.
20. Spotted near the bridge at Highway 20 was yet another mini-bike. This one sped southbound, then got on the sidewalk and raced across the bridge. This is a seriously disturbing trend.
21. Written on a bench near Lock 7, “I wasted so much time to be pensionable” . . .
22. Just after taking the above picture, an old geezer passed by who was struggling to guide his beat-up pickup truck down the road at a rip-roaring three miles per hour. Alone in his truck, he was dutifully obeying his government by wearing a mask. This is probably someone who shouldn’t be on the road. It also highlights that Ontario could use a system similar to what they have in Manitoba where such drivers can be reported, brought in for an interview and potentially have to take another driving test if deemed necessary by a reviewing officer.
23. Passing me near Lock 3 was a group from Niagara Segway Tours. Every time I see a Segway, I remember the rant the late Lindor Reynolds (who once interviewed yours truly) wrote in the Free Press after she was injured on one of them while in Minneapolis, blaming the Segway instead of herself.
24. Also near Lock 3 was a chubby woman who was wearing a fluorescent yellow top a few sizes too small. She wasn’t the fattest person I’ve ever seen, but people like her shouldn’t be making such an effort to draw attention to their rolls of blubber.
25. Past Lock 3 was an older couple standing at the side of the trail feeding seagulls with bread crumbs they were tossing out of a plastic tub. While the seagulls seemed to enjoy the treats, I suspect there’s plenty of food for them in their natural habitat.
| Previous post | Next post |