The Garden City Refugee

On the Road – Mini Bikes, Boring Mills, Sandstorms and More

December 11, 2021

Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s trek to and from Welland:

1. Upon reaching the top of the escarpment, passing me on the trail headed in the opposite direction was yet another mini bike. Even though it is illegal, I know there’s little police can do about it. But it is becoming a disturbing trend.

2. Circling the track at Notre Dame School was a guy pedaling a three-wheeled bicycle while squawking like a goose. The odd, almost creepy look on his face suggested a long history of substance abuse and/or that his parents were brother and sister before they got married.

3. A handful of Notre Dame students were seated right on the pavement alongside the recreational canal, blocking the trail on my way in and on my return trip. Though they at least seemed apologetic, one can only wonder what they were doing there. What kind of school project would require them to sit around watching a stagnant body of water?

4. I wonder if the English department at Notre Dame teaches their students words other than “like.”

5. Passing me along the trail was a scruffy guy on a bike who was doing a magnificent job of staying upright while balancing a huge, blue garbage bag chock-full of aluminum cans on his handlebars that was blocking his line of sight. Though he seemed to have quite a talent for it, he would be well advised to consider alternate routes that don’t run directly along a body of water should he tip over.

6. Another odd, creepy guy (see point #2) near the Main Street Bridge was seriously taken with a passing black Jeep-like truck with oversize tires. Different strokes for different folks.

7. This scene just screams “Welland” . . .

8. The Rexall pharmacy at the corner of King and Lincoln was displaying signage promoting healthy choices while also offering poison injections. Catering to those who care about their health and those who, by choice or by force, put Big Pharma in charge of their immune systems.

9. A look at The Grand Canal, a recently opened retirement residence offering nice views of the recreational canal. But one has to wonder if there is anyone in Welland who can afford to live there.

10. Did you know you have to pay $2 to park at the Welland Medical Center on King Street? OK, it’s just down the street from the hospital, but it’s still Welland. As I’ve said before, they should pay you to park there.

11. A nice mural painted on the side of an electrical transformer:

12. Clients of Welland Drapery Service . . .

13. Loyal readers are well aware that one of my biggest pet peeves is when public-sector agencies like Metrolinx launch big ad campaigns for the sole purpose of patting themselves on the back. But it’s doubly maddening when they put up billboards like this in communities they don’t even serve.

13a. Dear Doug Ford: I remember a bygone era in which this is one of the “efficiencies” you would happily have cut from the budget. You remember, back in the day when you used to be a conservative instead of someone indistinguishable from the NDP?

14. I didn’t figure mills to be exciting places anyway, but why advertise being boring?

15. Two old geezers in pickup trucks stopped in the middle of King Street weren’t about to let the traffic they were blocking in both directions get in the way of their conversation. Including the Regional Transit bus that was blowing its horn incessantly.

16. That Regional Transit bus, along with several Welland Transit buses I spotted, was displaying the politically-incorrect slogan “Merry Christmas.” Egad! What is this world coming to?

17. The flag person near the construction scene on Ontario Road certainly had a hankering for sunflower seeds, as evidenced by all the seeds she left scattered all over the bike lane.

18. One church I passed by had a big “Everyone Welcome” sign out front with the message “Please trust God and refuse to live in fear” on the door. It is a model many other churches would be wise to follow. Including the Salvation Army.

19. Did you know there is a Commercial Street in Welland, a city where there is virtually no commercial activity? Besides the drive-thru lane at Tim Hortons, that is.

20. Spotted on Commercial Street was someone with a license plate from Guadalajara, Mexico. I can’t imagine how many shots of experimental drugs this person must had to have taken in order to get through two border crossings, but the bigger question is what such a person was doing in Welland, of all places.

21. Whereas we had a tiny bit of snow earlier in the week (see my previous post), they must have had a sandstorm in Welland, since the streets were absolutely covered in sand. If you didn’t know better, you’d think a major blizzard had just ripped through the region instead of a light dusting that barely got the ground wet.

22. Two interesting bumper stickers spotted around town:

• A middle finger on top of the line, “Have a nice day.”
• “Sometimes a bitch just needs chicken.”

23. An older woman sporting a Montreal Canadiens jacket walking down Crowland Avenue was thoroughly engaged in a conversation with herself. Mental health issues remain prominent in Welland.

24. Spotting this “Queen of England” line written on the door reminded me of the time when I was at Union Station waiting for my train to Ottawa when a guy said “May the Queen of England bless you.”

24a. Speaking of the Queen of England, why is she not lifting a finger to stop the tyranny within the British Empire, something countless numbers of her subjects fought and died to protect us from?

25. Free clothing at Canal Terrace. If you need me, I’m yours, the sign says.

26. While stopped at a bench, a scruffy guy on a bike with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth mumbled “Uh, uh, eh” in my direction as he passed by. Well, uh, uh, eh to you too.

27. Closer to home, I also stopped at this bench, where someone paid to have their dog immortalized:

28. Before descending the escarpment, I passed by a cyclist who was perched off the trail leaning against an abandoned building entertaining passers-by with his guitar. Let’s just say I hope he didn’t quit his day job. Then again, maybe he was among the many fired for disobeying the illegal orders of the government.

29. This guy was one of the few two-wheeled travelers I encountered on this day. Despite the forecasted high of +9, I suppose it was too cold for all but the most hardy of cyclists like me.

30. Near this scene, I spotted a truck from Bison Transport, just as I did on the 406 in Welland. As I’ve said before, the SPRM does keep following me around.

31. Not far from Lock 2, I spotted a half-naked guy with a big bald spot crawling up the bank of the canal back to the trail while pulling his pants on. As I got closer, I noticed a massive wet spot on the back of those dirty pants. No doubt he was answering the call of nature and opted to do it out in the open rather than go in the nearby bushes. When he got back on his feet and began heading north while making some weird gestures, I made sure to give him a wide berth.