The Garden City Refugee

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On the Road – Stupid Questions, Trademark Violations, Bad Spellers and More

November 17, 2023

Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s visit to Hamilton:

1. En route to Fairview Mall, I spotted a cyclist without a helmet pedaling down Scott Street with his head down and both hands on his phone. Oy.

2. Waiting for the GO bus at Fairview Mall was an unshaven middle-aged dude who was taking turns puffing on his cigarette and coughing his guts out. Maybe if he stopped smoking . . .

3. Also waiting at the bus stop at Fairview Mall was an Asian woman who used one of the bollards next to the Presto machine to crack the shell of a hard-boiled egg.

4. The GO bus was a little early, so the driver used the extra time to get out and chat up the Jehovah’s Witnesses who were standing nearby.

5. Between Vineland and Beamsville, the bus passed a transport truck with a big notice on the back end of the trailer stating that the tires were filled with nitrogen. Why passers-by would need to know this is left as an exercise for the reader.

6. While stuck in the middle of bumper-to-bumper traffic near Fruitland Road, I noticed an ad from the province telling us that they’re building new roads and highways to keep people moving.

7. As the driver was pulling into the Burlington GO station, he got on the intercom and told us what a great pleasure it was to serve all of us wonderful passengers today. Once again, it sure beats the F-you treatment so common in the Old Country.

8. Even though I was headed for Hamilton, I stayed on the bus all the way to Burlington, because HSR was on strike. The City had offered them a pot of gold and the union was striking because they wanted two pots of gold. But I digress. There, I caught the #1 Burlington Transit bus, which makes regular runs down Plains Road and all the way into downtown Hamilton, so I was still able to get there without using HSR or having to use my bike. All I really missed out on was the experience on the Stroller Express, otherwise known as the #2 Barton bus.

9. A few of Hamilton’s street people . . .


10. Scenes and a video walkthrough from Fan Central along James Street:





11. While taking shots of the tiger-cat, some guy wearing an Argos sweater came up to me and asked, “What is that?”

“A tiger-cat, I imagine.” You know, this the home of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats.

“And what is that?” he asked, pointing to the football, apparently oblivious to the fact that this festival is to celebrate the championship of the Canadian Football League.

I should have answered, “A baseball.”

12. To hell with the poor right here in our own country, the people in Kenya and Uganda are more important . . .

13. Jackson Square was teeming with rent-a-cops, and one of them was stationed inside the pharmacy near the food court. Methinks they’ve had a rash of, ahem, security incidents lately.

14. While in line waiting for the Burlington Transit bus at King and James, an elderly woman with a beard and pushing a walker asked me, “Is this the line?”

15. I imagine our former mayor has already contacted his legal representatives in regard to this organization’s use of the term “compassion”™ without acknowledging his trademark . . .

16. Why so serious?

17. I wish I could stop this D-E-V-O-R-C-E . . .

18. The Metrolinx employee who prepared this sign “temporily” forgot how to spell . . .

19. This guy at the Burlington GO station was fast asleep and his snoring could be heard throughout the terminal . . .

20. A Middle Eastern dude who boarded the GO bus at Stoney Creek took a seat across the aisle from me and proceeded to use his teeth as nail clippers.

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