Over the River LXIII
July 8, 2023
Highlights and lowlights from my 63rd two-wheeled visit to the Great State of New York:
1. In a rare moment that made me think I was back in Winnipeg, I spotted this busted window in the shelter on Geneva Street en route to the bus stop at Fairview Mall. Perhaps not coincidentally, it’s right across from the empty property that has been sitting idle for the last three-plus years the city can’t won’t sell:
2. Thankfully, I wasn’t planning to patronize them anyway. I prefer my fish cooked.
2a. Did someone really pay $11 for the privilege of eating raw sea creatures?
3. Waiting at the bus stop at Fairview Mall was a dude in his early 20s with curly hair and wearing a T-shirt with the message, “Trust me. When I woke up today, I had no plans to be this sexy. But hey, shit happens.”
4. The regional bus that took me to the Falls was packed. Once again, it’s good to know the service is being used.
5. Among the busload of passengers was a fat woman with a rainbow-colored lanyard around her neck with “Pride” written all over it and even rainbow colors on her Internet-enabled watch.
6. Despite the early hour, there was a lineup at U.S. Customs halfway across the bridge, mostly comprising of returning Americans. But the line moved quickly and my experience couldn’t have gone any smoother.
7. My plan on this day was to take the Discover Niagara Shuttle from the Niagara USA Visitor Center to Lockport.
The shuttle came at the scheduled time, but despite promises to the contrary on their website, the shuttle did not have a bike rack, which abruptly derailed that plan and forced me to invoke Plan B, a trek eastward through Wheatfield and North Tonawanda. I had a great day, but upon my return, I sent this tweet off to the Discover Niagara Shuttle people:
8. Don’t bother using any of the nearby bins. Just dump your trash at the curb.
9. Interesting mural. I’ve been past it a number of times before, but never bothered to stop for a picture.
10. Slogan on a truck for the Made in America store next to the bridge: “100% American made. Because China is a long way to go to work.”
11. This is something that likely only interests me, but this is one of those rare times in the U.S. where the directional banner is below the route marker instead of on top. In Canada and Quebec, the directional banners are always below the route marker.
12. Messages from the nanny state . . .
13. Drugs kill . . .
14. Support your local sunrise . . .
15. Thanks, but I think I’ll pass . . .
16. A Stillers fan in the middle of Bills country . . .
17. The seasonal washrooms at Gratwick-Riverside Park in North Tonawanda:
18. Even though New York is a blue state, I think it’s a safe bet that these people didn’t vote Dumb-o-crat . . .
19. I stopped into the Niagara Falls Airport to use the washroom, only to find the terminal oddly shut tight. Fortunately, the attached bus terminal was open, but while on my tablet bumming off their free WiFi, someone from inside the locked airport terminal banged on the glass and asked me if I worked there.
20. I spotted many ads like this from Niagara Canada on the day. The many Americans I was waiting in line with at U.S. Customs obviously got the message.
21. I think the only bit of Paris this motel offers is the sewer system . . .
22. That looks like a horse, not a castle. But maybe it’s just me.
23. I’ll try. But no guarantees.
24. I hope he finds one. Just like the guy who had similar signs up in the north end of St. Catharines.
25. The Wendy’s where I stopped around noon had more staff than customers in the restaurant. Yet they had a sign out front saying they were hiring and the manager was even interviewing a candidate when I walked in. One can only wonder why. If they can’t do any better on a warm July afternoon on a busy Niagara Falls Boulevard, I’d more expect a FOR SALE OR LEASE sign out front.
26. With the entire place to themselves, an older couple who walked in decided to cram into the tiniest booth they could find.
27. Rhetorical question: Does everyone in WNY have a pot belly?
28. After all this time, they’re STILL pushing this crap and hauling out every lame excuse in the book to get you to take it.
28a. This reminds me of a tweet I saw recently . . .
28b. If you’re a smoker, a flu virus is the least of your health concerns.
29. Oops . . .
30. For anyone looking to play chess and ping pong outside, Old Falls Street is the place for you . . .
31. Walking down Old Falls Street was an Asian woman wearing a T-shirt with the message, “Weirdness is my superpower.” Another woman nearby was toting a bag with “Freaky Shit Testing Device” written on it. Shortly thereafter, I listened as a black woman said to her white boyfriend, “In 20 minutes, you got good ridd-em, got good ridd-em.” I presume she meant “rhythm.”
32. I can’t possibly describe in words how much I did NOT want to exercise the first option and return to Canada Ostdeutschland. It especially galled me that I actually had to PAY for the privilege of passing through Checkpoint Charlie.
33. I spent longer in line waiting at the toll gate than I did at Canadian customs. Perhaps I wasn’t the only one who had second thoughts of heading across the bridge in the wrong direction.
34. Three signs stating this isn’t an entrance right above “Push Here to Enter.” You can’t make stuff like this up.
35. Boarding the GO bus at 420 and Stanley was a Middle Eastern woman in her early 20s who got right in the driver’s face and shouted, “WHERE DO I USE DEBIT?” Save that act for the shithole country you came from.
36. Also boarding at 420 and Stanley was a Muslim woman fully covered from head to toe with only a little of her face visible who was heading for Clarkson and unsure how to use the tap-on/tap-off feature with her Visa debit card. The driver patiently explained the procedure, but the loud-mouthed woman seemed to want some sort of assurance she wouldn’t be double-charged the $18.40 fare. After the driver calmly went through the process again, she said, “I have to talk to my sister,” and got off the bus, expecting the driver to wait for her. He did wait for a minute or so, then got off and interrupted their conversation in the adjacent parking lot to ask if she was coming. She wasn’t. So he finally took off. Once again, save that act for the shithole country you came from.
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