Retour à la Vieille Capitale
June 12, 2023
Details on last week’s epic adventure to Québec along with a side trip to its maritime federal colony:
1. Radical, extremist ideology being promoted at the Big Apple . . .
2. Scenes at the Big Apple . . .
2a. As my friend who drove us noted, the Big Apple should be renamed the Sugar Shack, since it’s just full of candies and sugary treats to mollify cranky kids on a road trip with their parents.
3. It’s a good thing they told me, since I was hungry . . .
4. I wonder if any trucking companies are hiring amateur drivers . . .
5. After crossing the international border, we stopped at the Rivière-Beaudette aire de service, only to find the tourist information center shut tight. On a Saturday afternoon in early June. How welcoming.
The adjacent St-Hubert was also shut tight. But still, an older guy came by, looked at it and asked me, “Fermé?”
Ya think it’s closed?
I should have said that the clerk just stepped into the washroom and I’m sure he’ll be out in a few minutes.
6. At the bridge on the A-30, Montréal’s southerly bypass, the toll had gone up from $3.10 to $3.50 and they no longer accept cash. Aucun argent comptant.
That’s what I say to those who don’t accept cash.
For those without a transponder, your only other option is credit or debit. That or go through Montréal. Which is probably what I would have done if I had been driving.
7. On the other side of Montréal, we stopped at the Halte Sainte-Marie-Madeleine, where all I could think of was “What’s the French word for ‘dump’?” The place was dirty and stunk of shit. It was only a baby step up from a Manitoba rest area.
8. While there, a guy did his business at the urinal, then walked out without washing his hands. In fairness, maybe he just didn’t want to spend any more time there than he had to.
9. Throughout our time in the empire du mal, my friend and I would notice how drivers would pull right in front of the car they’re passing, then speed up, instead of speeding up in the passing lane and giving more distance before returning to the right lane.
10. Scenes at Le Madrid, a gas station/rest stop midway between Montréal and Québec . . .
11. Evidently, there are people dumb enough to hang their clothes from the sprinkler head . . .
12. At the breakfast in the hotel the next morning, two guys came in, each with a Tim Hortons coffee, and sat down at a table with their buddy. Yet the hotel offers free coffee. But why take something for free when you can pay for it.
13. Confucius says . . .
14. I don’t want to know how much I paid for this piece of “art” on the grounds of the Assemblée Nationale . . .
15. Scenes in the old city along with a video walkthrough:
16. As they say in Texas, El Paso . . .
17. I was curious as to why people were lined up to get into this restaurant. But not curious enough to ask one of them.
18. Scenes inside the Château Frontenac, where the 50th anniversary WHA reunion was held last year . . .
18a. Did you know that the Château Frontenac, despite charging exorbitant rates, doesn’t even offer free Wi-Fi to their guests? I wonder what the French word for “chintzy” is . . .
19. Go ahead, jump . . .
20. No pissing on the ground. Make sure you hit the bowl.
21. Scenes inside the Notre-Dame Basilica-Cathedral:
22. Scenes outside the Notre-Dame Basilica-Cathedral:
23. Not me . . .
24. The “bhoys” are back in town . . .
25. Scenes inside the Notre-Dame-des-Victoires Church . . .
26. Walking around the old city and throughout town, it didn’t feel like a strange and foreign land. Probably because I had been there before. I expected to enjoy it more the second time around and I did.
27. Scenes inside and outside the basilica at Ste-Anne-de-Beaupré:
28. You’d think by now people would be more worried about what’s happening in their own country . . .
29. The stop sign looked fine to me . . .
30. A creative pictogram for blowing snow. But it kind of defeats the purpose when it can only barely be deciphered by drivers zipping along at high speeds along the A-20. In any event, drivers hardly need a sign to tell them when it’s snowing. And if you do need a sign, you shouldn’t be behind the wheel.
31. Entering Québec’s maritime federal colony. Interestingly, there was no signage on either side of the border regarding the time zone change, nor was there any signage directing New Brunswick-bound travelers to the tourist information center on Madawaska Avenue. Perhaps because it was closed anyway.
31a. This voyage represented the first time I had been out of the Eastern time zone since my defection from the SPRM nearly nine years ago.
32. Those who know me are undoubtedly well aware that New Brunswick is the home province of my late dear friend Carli Ward, whose cap I brought with me in anticipation of such a journey. I don’t get emotional very often, but setting foot on New Brunswick soil was one of those rare occasions.
33. I don’t know how much, or if there is enough money I’d have to be paid to drive around with an NDP license plate . . .
34. You know, I don’t think The Donald really gives a shit what yahoos who put up stickers like this really think about him. Call it a hunch.
35. I never knew that eating in a mall was such a problem . . .
36. Lunch was at the Subway in Edmundston, where, oddly, the door inside the mall was locked, but the door outside the mall was open. Everyone inside was speaking Quebecese and even the menus were all in Quebecese. The clerk was laughing and joking with the guy in line in front of me, but the tone suddenly got very formal, though not rude, when I ordered in the Canadian language. Further evidence as to how, thanks to the government, New Brunswick really has become a battleground between French and English.
37. From our brief tour around town and in the mall, I hardly got a positive impression. The mall was deserted, half the stores were closed despite being just after noon, the roads were in worse shape than they are in Winnipeg, and I really got the feeling I was in a backwoods, hick town in a have-not province where no one chooses to live.
38. At the Walmart in Edmundston, the rainbow flag was flying high alongside the Canadian flag.
39. The drive there and back was more scenic than I expected with a view of the Laurentians on one side with the northern end of the Appalachians on the other. Furthermore, they’re making good progress on twinning A-85 between Saint-Antonin and Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! Work is scheduled to be completed in the next couple of years, which will provide an uninterrupted full freeway link from Halifax to Québec and points beyond.
39. View of the bridges and western end of the city from the overpass at Rue du Parc-des-Chutes in Lévis:
40. Scenes at Parc des Chutes-de-la-Chaudière, along with a video as I walked across the suspension bridge:
41. I laughed at this sign near the stairs leading down to the suspension bridge. Sometimes it’s best to let the law of natural selection run its course.
42. I found it interesting that the fries I had as part of my meal at Normandin in Place de la Cité weren’t salty. Perhaps it was because I wasn’t in Ontario, the salt province.
43. On the papers on the tables at Normandin was an ad where they were trying to recruit staff, which would be a persistent theme throughout my travels. It was plastered all over the STLévis buses, above the urinals in the washroom at Parc de la Chute-Montmorency and at many stores in the malls I visited. Instead of “Je me souviens,” “Nous embauchons” should be the slogan on their license plates.
44. At breakfast the next morning was a younger guy with an Ubuntu T-shirt.
45. Scenes at Parc de la Chute-Montmorency, along with a video I shot while riding up and down the cable car:
46. On the day of our visit, they were working on the stairs leading to the top of the falls, so the cable car ride, which normally carries an additional fee, was free. But we still had to get the free ticket at the counter and for some reason, they were still diligently checking wristbands.
47. Parking and admission to the grounds was not free, and foreigners like us had to pay double the price.
Furthermore, cash was not accepted. Another raspberry to the folks at Sépaq, who run the park:
48. Funny washroom signs inside Manoir Montmorency . . .
49. One of the buses parked in the lot was from Shaw Festival in NOTL. A friendly reminder of home. Well, close to home.
50. Parking fail . . .
51. Centre Vidéotron and le Colisée, Québec’s current and past hockey homes . . .
52. Spotted in Place de la Cité was a guy who could easily have passed for the actor who played the second officer in Das Boot.
53. In Place Ste-Foy was an electronics recycling station. Why aren’t there more of them around?
54. Elsewhere in Place Ste-Foy was a guy wearing a QuebExpos jersey with Andre Dawson’s name and number on the back. But it wasn’t in the original style the team used, thus cheapening the jersey.
55. In the middle of the mall were several cars on display from a local Maserati dealership. So this is how Quebecers are spending Canada’s money.
56. Plenty of rainbow colors were on display, none more nauseating than this one, which explained the meaning of each color . . .
57. Passing by a young dude with a laptop seated outside Café Starbucks, I already knew I didn’t like him because 1) he’s at Starbucks and 2) Google is his default search engine.
58. Just as the case in Ste-Anne-de-Beaupré, I ordered at A & W in Place Ste-Foy in Quebecese and had no problem being understood nor understanding the clerk. Unlike the case a few times in the Center of the Universe when speaking in the Canadian language.
59. Seated nearby in the aire de restauration rapide was a woman in her 30s wearing a tan pant suit who was on her phone and really trying to look important. And on the other side of the divider was someone who could have passed as a younger version of Sarah Gassen, wife of the late Tim Gassen, founder of the WHA Hall of Fame.
60. Spotted in the rain on a busy Boulevard Laurier was a cyclist with a helmet wrapped around the handlebar, but nothing on his head.
61. I made a special effort to step over these cords so as not to be counted. And if I was on two wheels, I’d get off my bike and carry it over them.
62. Deferred maintenance on the sidewalk leading to the Pont de Québec . . .
63. Troubled souls in need of help looking to jump from the Pont de Québec are invited to call the same government that was probably largely responsible for them getting to that point. Government is not the solution. Government is the problem.
64. Reserved parking for the mob . . .
65. Special plates for overweight Quebecers . . .
66. At the Bainsville ONroute just over the international border, there was this sign proclaiming their desire to provide a fast, friendly and clean stop. Yet I had trouble finding a table that wasn’t littered with crumbs.
67. Before leaving the Bainsville ONroute, one woman genuflected.
68. Beware of premiers proclaiming that their province is open for business . . .
69. If the highway is new, why does it need improvements?
70. No rainbow colors on this truck from the Pride Group? Tsk, tsk.
71. While at the Mallorytown ONroute, I spotted a woman pulling a half-melted Caramilk bar out of her pocket. No one in her family seemed to want it. Go figure.
72. For those who wear hairpieces . . .
73. Gays who drink Molson beer will love this flag flying outside Molson’s plant in Toronto . . .
74. On the QEW past the Red Hill Valley Parkway, I spotted two vehicles pulled over to the shoulder whose occupants were going into the bushes to take a piss. It wasn’t bumper to bumper traffic and there are plenty of stops on the route in both directions where one can answer the call of nature without having to do it in full display of passing motorists.
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