On the Road – Incognito Signs, Finger Lickers, Leftover Cheezies and More
April 13, 2023
Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s bus-train trek to and from Guelph:
1. My destination on this day was not Toronto, but Guelph, thanks to the new #17 route which runs between the Hamilton GO Center and the University of Waterloo, making stops at Aldershot and Guelph Central Station. For those looking to make a similar trip, I took the #12 bus from Fairview Mall to Burlington, took the train one stop west to Aldershot, then caught the #17 there. It is roughly a three-hour journey going there, as the connections were good, but it is longer on the return trip because of the nearly full hour wait at Burlington for the Niagara-bound #12 bus. Sadly, there were only three passengers (including me) on the northbound #17 bus and only five on the southbound trip. As it is a route which primarily serves universities, I’m hoping it will be more utilized during the fall and winter months. Otherwise, I can’t see this route having much of a future.
2. En route to Fairview Mall, I passed by a guy at a bus stop playing loud music on his phone at 6:00 in the morning. I’m sure everyone in the nearby apartment blocks really appreciated the wake-up call.
3. Once again, the board at the Fairview Mall stop has gone incognito . . .
4. Waiting at Fairview Mall was a big bearded dude who, when finished with his cigarette, threw the smoldering butt underneath a running bus.
5. Arriving at Fairview Mall soon after I did was an old geezer on a bike. Somehow, he managed to make it to the stop without falling over, as he could barely stand up on his own two feet once he dismounted. In any event, after locking his bike to a nearby pole, he went to the ticket machine with a Ziploc bag full of coins and a few bills. He couldn’t seem to figure out how to work that ultra-complicated piece of machinery, so he asked Big Bearded Dude to help him. That went nowhere, and still unable to figure things out by the time the bus came, the old geezer got the driver to get out and help him buy his ticket to Stoney Creek. It all made me wonder if the guy should have even been out on his own alone.
6. Among those boarding at Fairview Mall was a guy proudly wearing a photo ID badge from the Art Gallery of Ontario around his neck. Whereas I like to fly under the radar when out in public, others obviously prefer not to be so anonymous.
7. Some chubby guy boarding at Grimsby apparently needed to lick his fingers before digging out his Presto card.
8. In between the Stoney Creek and Burlington stops, some guy from Mississauga who was in the front seat couldn’t seem to figure out how to read the display board showing the upcoming stops and asked the guy across the aisle for help. Another case of someone who shouldn’t be out on his own alone.
8a. This reminded me of a study skills course I had in Grade 8 where they taught us how to read bus schedules. Such things are a whole lot more useful than the crap they indoctrinate kids with in schools these days.
9. It didn’t affect my connections in any way, but two trains left the Burlington station just as our bus was pulling in. If it’s official policy to have buses hold for trains, why is it not the case the other way around?
10. Lo and behold, Metrolinx has finally added a board in the Burlington station showing when the next buses are scheduled to arrive. For the record, they were also in the Aldershot station and at Guelph. Much appreciated, but it’s about bloody time. Burlington, in particular, sees just as many, if not more, bus passengers than train passengers.
11. While waiting at Burlington, a scruffy bum got off the elevator and began foraging for buried treasure in the garbage bins. His big prize was a bag with some leftover cheezies at the bottom. He enjoyed them thoroughly.
12. It was +11 when I left the house in the wee hours of the morning with a scheduled high in the mid-20s. We haven’t had snow for weeks. Spring has sprung. Yet there was still plenty of residual salt left on the platform . . .
13. Another bum got off the Aldershot-bound train and before it departed, he proceeded to turn his back to the train and relieve himself against the chain-link fence. From the amount of piss he left behind, he must really have had to go. But there are washrooms on the train and in the station. When he was finally finished, he took a seat in a shelter and cracked open a beer.
14. Spray-painted on the back of a garage facing the tracks was I WIL CATCH YOU. And when he does catch me, I’ll point out his need for remedial spelling.
15. I had no problem with the #17 route in either direction and the new signage was in place on the platforms, but the bus was signed 25C in the northbound direction and WRONG CODE southbound, so I had to ask the driver in both cases to make sure it was the correct route. Obviously, Metrolinx is still working out the bugs in their system with the new route.
16. On the ground next to the sign for the village of Morriston was another sign which read, “BUILD THE 6 BYPASS.” Those stuck in the many cars crawling through the village at a snail’s pace along Highway 6 would second the motion.
17. I could only roll my eyes when I spotted the University of Guelph’s slogan, “Improve Life,” plastered in big letters at the main entrance. This from an institution that, like so many others, forced its students and staff to be shot up with potentially lethal poison injections for the privilege of being there.
18. Across the street from the bus loop there was a sign for “Visitor’s Parking.” Parking for only one visitor?
19. I know people who would love to be on this “Beer Bus” . . .
20. Needle disposal boxes like these were all over downtown Guelph. <sarcasm> Must be a lot of diabetics in town. </sarcasm>
21. I never knew Easter was a holiday where unsafe cooking was a big problem . . .
22. To hell with the warnings. Live dangerously . . .
23. Get your dog and car washed at the same time. One stop shopping.
24. Did you know there’s nearly an identical locomotive located at Assiniboine Park in Winnipeg?
25. Words of wisdom . . .
26. Video walkthrough of the Floral Gardens Park in Riverside Park:
27. Love letter on the back of a sign . . .
28. I know good help is hard to find, but I had an easier time getting through to the snotty clerk I had at the Subway in Gatineau in a language I’m hardly fluent in than the one I had at the Subway on Woolwich Street. And this one was no less snotty either. Then when I walked down the long, dark hallway to the washroom, I had trouble finding the light switch and when I finally found it, there was no soap in there. No wonder Subway is a dying brand.
29. On the #99 Guelph Transit bus I took from Woodlawn Road to downtown was a young woman in her early 20s with pink and green hair who was singing along to a song she was listening to on her phone.
30. Let the record reflect that I did not need a battering ram to exit that bus via the back door. Unlike the case in another certain part of the world I used to call home.
31. Whoever Chris Ward is, someone thinks he’s a goof . . .
32. Free goodies by the bus stop . . .
33. Spotted on the side of a Guelph Transit bus was an ad which read, “Why assisted suicide for some and suicide prevention for others?” Good question.
34. Diversity and inclusion on two wheels . . .
35. Video walking up and down Macdonell Street:
36. Video walkthrough of the Old Quebec Street Shoppes downtown mall:
37. Perhaps the biggest demographic downtown was scantily-clad college-age kids who loved to drop F-bombs. And yet the university is at the south end of town, far away from downtown.
38. Spotted downtown was a bar with a sign outside which read, “Don’t complain about your wife’s choices. Remember that you were one of them.”
39. Even in its heyday, I rather doubt this place was ever a “Palace” . . .
40. Video of the southbound ride on the #17 bus from Guelph to Waterdown Road:
41. Seated nearby on the Burlington-bound train was a group of guys dressed in Buffalo Toronto Blue Jays paraphernalia who appeared to be going to a game. One of them was complaining of a stomach ache after eating a hot dog. Still, he said that the hot dogs on the street are better than the ones at the game.
42. The new covered bike parking at Burlington officially opens on May 1. But you have to register with GO Transit. Upon further investigation, there’s a $50/year fee to be able to use it. Which is $50 more than they charge you to park your car.
43. Dear Burlington Transit: This just isn’t a thing anymore. In fact, it never was a thing. This whole “virus” BS is becoming as absurd as the “World Jewish Conspiracy” the Nazis used to justify their barbaric actions in the previous world war.
44. At Burlington was a young Asian girl wearing a T-shirt with the slogan “Too young 2 care” walking her large dog through the terminal.
45. Also at Burlington was a bum using a shopping cart from Target filled with all his worldly belongings as a skateboard.
46. With the increase in tourist traffic as the weather gets warmer, it was nice to see the express bus to the Falls, which nicely siphons off the riffraff.
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