The Garden City Refugee

On the Road – Food Bag Thieves, Luggage Rule-Breakers, “Disabled” Students and More

November 5, 2022

Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s visit to the universe’s center:

1. Among the many waiting for the bus at Fairview Mall was a woman seemingly fast asleep in her car. I wonder if she got up in time to catch the bus.

2. Seated across the aisle from me on the bus was a woman who spent nearly the entire ride to Burlington jabbering away on her phone in some Eastern European language.

3. Boarding at Beamsville was a young punk with a ring in his nose toting a skateboard.

4. In the early-morning fog, there was an eerie orange-red glow coming from the greenhouse alongside the QEW in Grimsby where they grow weed.

5. In pitch darkness and in the midst of thick fog, someone on a motorcycle near Stoney Creek was weaving in and out of lanes passing speeding traffic. Talk about taking your life in your hands.

6. On Centennial Parkway, the bus was following a car bearing the vanity plate FREEWILL with the slogan “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice” plastered across his bumper.

7. Normally the bus never has to stop at Fairview Street and Maple Avenue, but on this trip, three people got off there, including Skateboard Dude.

8. Right across the street from that lightly-used stop was a place called The Compassion Society. I noticed they failed to acknowledge our outgoing mayor’s trademark on the word “compassion.”

9. Upon exiting the bus at Burlington, I should have been charged an additional $6.94 on my card, but instead, Presto users like me weren’t charged at all. Maybe it was another one of those customer service appreciation days at Metrolinx.

10. After doing my business in the washroom at Burlington, the guy at the other urinal was giving me a long dirty look as I went over to the sink to wash my hands. Given that he walked out without washing his hands, I’m the one who should have been giving him the dirty look.

11. I didn’t previously know about it, but I thought this was an excellent idea for the Hamilton Chamber of Commerce to promote local businesses. Unlike the St. Catharines Downtown Association, who can come up with nothing better than the silly Fam Jam, the chamber in Hamilton is actually providing some legitimate value for its members.

12. On the top of the stairs leading to the platform at Burlington was an empty box of Pop Tarts. I would later see a similar box on one of the streets in Toronto. I didn’t know they were so popular.

13. Yet another SPRM plate, this one in the parking lot at the Burlington GO station. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that place does keep following me around.

14. The approaching train in the middle of the fog . . .

15. The DWAM is a species that is thankfully going by way of the dodo bird, but there were still three of them in my car. One of them was among the very few besides me who weren’t preoccupied with their phones. She also had some sticky white glob of something stuck to the bottom of one of her shoes that she will undoubtedly have a difficult time removing.

16. Spotted on the platform at Oakville was a chunky woman wearing a gray hoodie with the Playboy logo on one side and the slogan “Pursue Your Dreams” on the other. If her dream is indeed to appear in the magazine, she should consider losing some weight.

17. Two vans from Regal Fire were parked in the lot at Port Credit. Perhaps they only handle fires involving the royal family or those in vice-regal positions such as the lieutenant-governor.

18. Here’s what I have to say about the MASKS RECOMMENDED signs on MiWay buses:

19. Next to the tracks near the Long Branch stop was an encampment where the occupants pitched a tent. They also had a clothesline where they were drying out their laundry. Even the bums have standards.

20. Though their efforts were largely futile even while masks were officially “mandatory,” Metrolinx is still hard at work cultivating DWAMs, trying every trick in the book to guilt-trip the gullible . . .

21. Drinkers will be pleased that the LCBO inside Union Station is now open. The government misses few opportunities to fatten its coffers.

22. On the eastbound streetcar I boarded on Queen Street was a loudmouth who was engaged in a largely one-way conversation with someone across the aisle. “Sometimes I’m embarrassed to get mad,” he said before telling us that he drinks beer and smokes weed while digging a pair of $20 bills out of his wallet and flashing them around. Though he may have been embarrassed about it, he started getting mad, yelling “You can’t conversate!” at his target before exiting the streetcar.

23. Spotted on Queen Street was someone selling chimney cones out of a camper trailer. As if I would want to eat anything prepared in a streetside camper trailer.

24. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this ad for the upcoming Grey Cup in Regina plastered on the side of a passing streetcar. The Argos can’t draw flies to BMO Field, hardly anyone east of Winnipeg cares about the CFL and most Torontonians couldn’t pick Saskatchewan out on a map.

25. Extended what?

26. Can’t argue with this one . . .

27. Various murals around the Leslieville neighborhood:

 

 

 

 

28. Food bag thieves are apparently a problem in the area . . .

29. I presume this plate was taken out in reference to the “Snake” Plissken character in Escape from New York.

Interestingly, not far from that sighting was this restaurant. One of Plissken’s lines in the movie was “I want to meet this Duke.” But it was the Duke of New York he wanted to meet, not the Duke of Toronto.

30. But the likes of Doug Ford and his BFF Justin Trudeau are too addicted to power . . .

31. Not a specific visitor, just a general visitor . . .

32. Take a trip down Memory Lane . . .

33. Looks like some bums have been taking their own trip down Memory Lane . . .

34. Right they are . . .

35. Nosy neighbors . . .

36. Masks required for customers, but not for the staff working inside. It was the same at a nail place down the street displaying a “Masks are encouraged” sign on the door, yet their staff weren’t wearing them. Do as we say, not as we do.

36a. The alert reader will notice the “Rice Crispy’s” on the menu. It’s Rice Krispies. They can’t enforce their policies with their own staff, nor can they spell.

37. Elementary school math on a bench . . .

38. This obviously only applies to those who have not taken poison injections, as anyone who has could not qualify as “healthy,” especially for a heart study.

39. How could anyone possibly know . . .

40. I passed by a bum seated on a bench hunched over looking like he was about to throw up. Perhaps he became ill when he realized he had spent what little money he had on the scratch-and-lose ticket he was holding.

41. Better than cold chicken . . .

42. Smoked fish. Or more accurately, smoking fish.

43. I couldn’t agree more . . .

44. Located just on the outskirts of the Republic of Toronto . . .

45. Free chocolate milk. The jug even looked sealed.

46. There’s plenty of them out there, might as well give them a shop of their own.

47. Speaking of nuts, I was astounded to see how many cyclists were weaving in and out of traffic seemingly without any concern for their well-being. As I said so often when I lived in Winnipeg, don’t expect passing motorists to care more about your safety than you do.

48. Dear City of Toronto. This just isn’t a thing anymore.

 

49. Free clothing . . .

50. Gee, I was hungry, but sadly, there was nothing left in the basket. Oh well . . .

51. Doug Ford and Justin Trudeau’s favorite hangout in Toronto . . .

52. As people keep dropping like flies, I don’t imagine this place is doing a booming business these days . . .

53. I wonder if their “foo” is any good . . .

54. Special dog parking . . .

55. These days, any store owner not displaying such a sign is branded a modern-day Archie Bunker . . .

56. Do they really need signs like this for structures within a playground?

57. The lizard lives . . .

58. Two cubes on a pillar . . .

59. For those who used to watch The Smurfs, do you remember that Gargamel was allergic to sumach?

60. Spotted on Front Street was someone toting a bag bearing the slogan “There’s only one rule in fashion – recycle your clothes.”

61. Nearby on Front Street, I passed by someone in his early 20s with green hair carrying a loaf of bread and a six-pack.

62. Walking through the Distillery District, someone passed me who was carrying a plastic cup filled with what looked like pureed dog crap.

63. Whatever . . .

64. Throughout the day, I noticed many cars with parking tickets on their windshields, including four on one block on Front Street. If they ever bring back Parking Wars, Toronto could be a host city.

65. Near St. Lawrence Market, I passed by a guy puffing on a cigarette with “2-Spirited People of the 1st Nations” emblazoned on the back of his hoodie. Perhaps not coincidentally, this was right across the street from the Museum of Illusions.

66. For those who have taken poison injections, it might be too late to save your immune system. But you can try . . .

67. Free boots along with an empty can of Canada Dry Ginger Ale . . .

68. Just dump your unused green paint out onto the sidewalk . . .

69. In another egregious violation of Metrolinx policy, upon departure of the Lakeshore West train from Union, our customer service ambassador simply introduced herself as “your customer service ambassador” without giving her name.

70. I realize the woman in my car with a gaggle of kids in tow had the right to be on the phone, but she didn’t need to have to use the speakerphone, nor did she have to shout so loud that everyone in the car could hear what she was saying.

71. Disembarking at Appleby was a woman carrying a union placard with the slogan “I’m an SNA fighting for students and good jobs.” No doubt she was one of many who attended a protest in support of GUPE (Greedy Union of Public Employees) in their battle with the tyrannical government of Doug Ford.

For the record, I think both sides are wrong. The union is being greedy. Ford, as usual, is behaving like Attila the Hun. They deserve each other. And neither side seems terribly concerned for the innocent victims of their tug-of-war, namely the children and the overburdened taxpayers. The union that says they’re fighting for children wants to retain the right to walk off the job and force schools to close. All while Ford, the man who kept schools closed for the past two years, now laughably claims to be the champion of keeping schools open. No comedy writer could come up with a better script than this.

72. Boarding the bus at Burlington ahead of me was a guy toting a suitcase. He wanted to take it upstairs with him, but the driver had a hissy fit about it and followed him up to his seat to insist he leave it on the lower level next to the driver or, alternatively, the luggage compartment. “You’re holding up the trip,” she barked. OK, I know taking your baggage upstairs is against the rules. There’s a sign saying so. But I’ve seen it many times before and no driver has complained about it. What was the big deal? Maybe she was just being ornery because of the pending strike.

72a. I find it interesting how the same union that is prepared to have its members walk off the job because of contracting out had no problem with the employer forcing its members to take poison injections in order to keep their jobs.

73. The driver was the same one I had coming into Burlington first thing in the morning. Such a thing has happened before, but not very often.

74. Seated across the aisle from me were Emma and Nina, young University of Waterloo students living in Kitchener. Emma was visiting family in St. Catharines for the weekend, while Nina was going on to the Falls. The two struck up a friendship and exchanged phone numbers during the ride, all while Emma shared many details of her troubled existence along with her gripes with the university and its professors with Nina and everyone else within earshot.

Emma’s “disabilities” make it difficult for her to take notes during classes. She’s asked her professors for their lecture notes, which they wouldn’t provide. She wanted paper copies of her textbooks because she needs to be able to highlight text and write in them, something she says she can’t do in a PDF, but can’t get them. She also, like, can’t listen to noise in class, such the sound of fellow students typing on their keyboards. It’s, like, too much, she says. But when she puts in ear buds, she can’t hear the professor.

Because of those “disabilities,” it takes her three times longer to do things than everyone else, making her feel like she’s a full-time patient and a full-time student. Everyone deserves to be accommodated, she says, and she’s constantly complaining to her case advisor at Accessibility Services. But there’s no one there who was, like, professional. She was, however, able to get the concession that ensures she won’t get two exams within a 24-hour period.

On the theme of accommodation, she highlighted the case of a pregnant student in a developmental psychology class she had last year. The student asked for a chair. Neither the professor nor the university would give her one, because you have to apply for accessibility, like, before every semester. So apparently the student “had to sit on the f---ing floor for the whole term.” It is why whenever Emma sees cosmetic upgrades to buildings around campus, she says, “y’all are investing in the wrong things.”

Moving on, she lamented that there’s no, like, answers in her sociology class. Just hypotheses. She’s excited to be taking a psychopathology course next year. That’s where they teach you what causes someone to have, like, like, schizophrenia. She hopes she doesn’t get Dr. Brown, who is the one especially noted for giving everyone a hard time. Emma also likes controversy and debates. Nina used to get into debates too, but she has social anxiety.

On the personal side, Emma’s older brother has, like, Asperger’s and she describes herself as “like the eating mouse that lives alone.” She also likes going to Gordie’s Bar, where she gets half-priced “apps” (short for appetizers) after 9 pm. She recently renewed her passport, which expires in the new year, but had to wait two hours in line. She was a curious child and wants to work in a job where she can counsel children. Not teenagers or adults, she says. Originally, she had wanted to be a crime scene forensic analyst before going into psychology. She also lamented that her last day of high school was a Zoom call. And Nina, by the way, speaks fluent French.

The things you learn during an hour-long bus ride.