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On the Road – Special Constables, Neuro-Diversity, Rip Van Winklebum and More

January 8, 2020

Highlights from another visit to the universe’s center:

1. Maybe it’s just me, but I think the garbage containers at the Confederation GO stop need emptying . . .

2. Are “special constables” for those competing in the Special Olympics?

3. Despite the relatively mild temperature, I spotted a guy walking by on the platform at Burlington who was so cold his teeth were chattering. Trust me, dude, you don’t know what real cold is.

4. Amazingly, the customer service ambassador on my C.U.-bound Lakeshore West train knew that “Please stand clear of the doors, the doors are now closing” is 11 words long and not one.

5. On the northbound #1 line, I spotted someone using their phone as a mirror.

6. There were some interesting ads on that northbound #1 line. The first was from Good Foot Delivery, an outfit that prides itself on providing meaningful employment to the neuro-diverse community. Whatever that is. Next came one from an insolvency company with the caption, “Jackie is free of debt. Isn’t it time you felt the same way?” Forget about me, it’s high time our government felt the same way. Then came one from Montreal tourism with their featured slogan, “Never grow up.” Well, they do mostly vote Liberal.

7. My name isn’t “Gorgeous” . . .

8. On the #1 line headed back to Union, this community resident bumette was catching a few winks, not letting the noise and vibrations of the subway disturb her beauty sleep. She eventually got up near the St. Clair station and after gathering herself following a what looked to be a pretty rough morning, she slipped her runners on over top her bare feet and got off at the Bloor-Yonge station where she could catch the #2 line. Maybe she’ll find the cars there to be a little more comfortable.

8a. The observant reader will notice that her back was turned with her shoes and possessions available for the taking, something no one did. This is not the Old Country, chapter 7,549.

9. Right across from Rip Van Winklebum was a dude with bright lime green hair wearing shiny pink shoes and toting a backpack of the same color. It was likely not a coincidence that he got off at the Wellesley station, a stone’s throw from Ground Zero for Toronto’s LGBT+ community.

10. On that same southbound #1 line, there was an ad for a CBC show entitled “Burden of Truth.” It is a burden the Communist Broadcasting Corporation fails each and every day.

11. Dear fellow Lakeshore West passenger: Maybe next time, you could do up your coat before you get to the door leading up to the platform instead of standing in front of it and blocking the rest of us while you fiddle around with that coat.

12. On the Niagara-bound #12 bus, the driver made an announcement asking anyone using “electronical” devices to use earbuds and not be an annoyance to your fellow passengers. Rest assured, I’ll keep the volume down if I want to use my “electronical” device.

13. History was made on said bus as three passengers boarded at Fairview Street and Maple Avenue, doubling the total of the number of people I had seen using that stop over the last five-plus years.

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