The Garden City Refugee

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On the Road – Gas Masks, Free Clothing, Mini-Bikes and More

June 28, 2022

Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s bike/bus trek to and from Port Colborne:

1. Along the trail, I passed by a woman from Toronto with PIZZA written across her T-shirt. Based on her expansive girth, it’s pretty obvious she likes pizza. Too much.

2. Farther south was a bum someone who looked every bit like he had just woken up after consuming too much of the brand of beer he was promoting on his T-shirt. He was also carrying a large pair of snips, the kind one would use to trim trees. Needless to say, I made sure to give him a wide berth.

3. Is this someone’s FTP password?

4. Parked at Lock 7 was a woman in her car rolling up some yarn. Perhaps she was there to watch ships as she knitted.

5. Once again, in the middle of nowhere, I spotted a cyclist headed north sporting an industrial-grade gas mask. If you really buy into the government’s fear-mongering, lock yourself inside your house.

6. Anyone in the market for clothes didn’t need to buy them at Seaway Mall, there was plenty for the taking right by the entrance off Woodlawn Road . . .

7. Elsewhere in Welland was a woman wearing a T-shirt with LOVE PINK on it. The shirt was black. Practice what you preach.

8. Did you know that there’s a one-way street in downtown Port Colborne, a city that makes Welland look like a major metropolis?

9. One of a few college-age kids strolling along Port Promenade looking down the canal said that it reminded him of Vancouver. I haven’t been there since I was a young child, but I would surmise that the port area of Vancouver is just a tiny bit bigger. Call it a hunch.

10. Also walking down Port Promenade was a low-functioning person™ with a sweater wrapped around his neck and wearing a mask. Perhaps he thinks viruses can be transmitted through his neck as well.

11. A day on the trail is seemingly not complete these days without having a couple of mini-bikes pass you by. If I wanted to go elbow-to-elbow with high-speed vehicles, I’d use Merrittville Highway.

12. On the regional transit bus I boarded at the Welland Transit Terminal, I noticed the fancy new displays. Included were the expected time of arrival at the next stop, the weather forecast and friendly reminders to practice cough and sneeze etiquette on transit and that you can get free transit to go get a poison injection (no mention of a return trip, since you may not survive). Noticeably absent, however, was the time of day, which is obviously important for anyone looking to make a connection elsewhere along the route. One can only wonder if the people who design these things have ever taken public transit before.

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