The Garden City Refugee

The Elevator Operator and the Census

May 8, 2026

As the 2026 Census is being shoved down the throats of Canadians from coast to coast, I am reminded of those elevator operators from a bygone era decades ago. The girl dressed in a red blazer who would sit on a stool inside the elevator at Eaton’s and press the button for the floor you wanted. There was an old guy who did the same job at the Manitoba Legislative Building when I worked there.

These days, both the census people and the elevator operators are just as obsolete.

Spare me the lines about how Statistics Canada needs this data so governments at all levels know where people live and what they need. Everyone has to fill out a tax return. They already have a head count. They know where we live and how much money we make. A simple rollup query, stripping away the personal information, would give them all they “need” to know and with much greater accuracy. And every year, not just every five years.

They need to know how much money to allocate to health care? Ask Niagara Health or any other regional provider. They’ve got data right down to the minute how many people are waiting in ER. Or how many hip replacements they did. Or how many knee surgeries they did. The government gave themselves a monopoly on health care, so it’s not as though we can shop around for private alternatives. They need to know how many schools to build? Ask your local school division for the enrollment data. They need to know how many people are using public transit? Ask Metrolinx or any other local provider. Heck, with so many people paying with credit/debit and their phones (unlike the case in the Old Country, people in this part of the world actually pay), they can track you right to your front door with frightening accuracy. They sure don’t need people filling out forms.

And please spare me the tired old line about doing your civic duty. The government owes a duty to us. We do not owe any duty to the government.

By skipping the census, you’re shortchanging your community, some argue. That means fewer resources.

No, what those who skip the census are doing is sending a message that they recognize that this gargantuan make-work project for overpaid public-sector bureaucrats is as obsolete as the elevator operators.

The elevator operators were redeployed.

The census workers and everyone else at Statistics Canada need to be next on the list.