Comedy, NDP Style
February 7, 2025
Dear Jennie Stevens:
It’s me again. You know, one of those right-wing rednecks who isn’t quite as enlightened as you and the rest of those in your woke, progressive movement. I guess my head is still stuck in the sand. Normally, I wouldn’t bother you at a time like this. I’m sure you’re real busy with the election and all. I’m sure Doug Ford caught you and the other parties off guard a little with the snap election call. But I couldn’t help but notice the video you posted online as you canvassed my neighborhood recently.
I noted with interest that as you turned onto my street, you went the opposite way and avoided my block entirely. You’re not a coward, I thought. You’re not like Chris Bittle, our uber-pompous MP, who, when canvassing on my block, visited every house except for mine. You’re not afraid to get an earful from those with a different viewpoint. When you and your party talk about inclusion, you mean it. So I’m sure it was purely a coincidence that you didn’t come my way. Such a shame, though. I’m sure we’d have had a lively discussion. Just ask your rival, Sal Sorrento. I’m sure he remembers the time he and I spoke on the phone prior to the last provincial election. His ears are probably still ringing.
As you were walking, you noted how slippery it was out there. “Accidents in St. Catharines have gotten way more dangerous,” you said. At first, I thought that comment was a segue to a sermon on climate change and how paying more taxes to the government will make the weather less miserable. But instead, you began preaching about wait times at the ER.
Though I haven’t been to the hospital lately, I hear things are indeed bad. People are having to go out of town to get timely care. “The whole system is jammed. It’s packed,” you said. “This is so wrong and you deserve better.”
You’re right. I do deserve better. Because I pay so much in taxes that, in my time of need, I have the right to expect a stretch limo to arrive at my door in less than a minute which would take me directly to the hospital. Once there, I would also expect to be tended to immediately by a team of highly trained and experienced nurses and doctors.
As you’re well aware, however, the reality of health care in Ontario and across Canada is very different. Assuming I don’t die waiting for an ambulance to arrive, I can expect to be waiting for hours, either in a waiting room or in a hallway, even for a life-threatening illness, just for the privilege of seeing a first-year resident fresh out of medical school whose command of English would leave much to be desired.
And as you noted, things have only gone from bad to worse, first under the previous Liberal government and now under the current Liberal government headed by Doug Ford. That you and the rest of your party continue to refer to Ford as a conservative is beyond comical. Surely even the most radical elements in your party don’t really believe that anymore. I mean, what more does Ford have to do to convince you that he’s just as much of a socialist as Justin Trudeau, his brother-in-arms? Has he not run high enough deficits? Taxed us enough? Shut down enough of the private sector? Trampled on enough of our rights?
Back to the matter at hand, you say your party is the only one that will fix this system and deliver the health care that we can count on. Yet the evidence strongly suggests otherwise, as the worst health care outcomes in the country are in British Columbia and Manitoba, provinces where the NDP is the natural governing party. In fact, one of the many reasons I fled Manitoba was to escape the nightmare of NDP health “care.” Such as the recent case of a friend back in Winnipeg whose wife, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, couldn’t get the care she needed. She couldn’t even get pain management until she was practically on her deathbed six months later.
I laughed once again when you said the NDP will hire more doctors and nurses. Of course, no mention was made of rehiring the doctors and nurses fired by Ford for having the audacity to refuse injections of lethal gene-altering poison. In fact, based on what happened under the Bonnie Henry government in B.C., your party would likely have fired even more than Ford did. So you’ll have to pardon me if I don’t buy it. And let’s not forget the fact that so many more people are getting sick because of those injections that Ford pushed so hard. The only difference between his party and yours is that if the NDP had been in power, your party might very well have deployed police to go door to door and force-jab the remaining holdouts who didn’t buy into the biggest con game in recorded history.
Anyway, thanks for the laughs.
Wishing you the best on election day . . . not!
Your humble and hopefully soon-to-be ex-constituent.
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