Over the River LXXXI
August 8, 2024
Highlights and lowlights from my 81st two-wheeled trek to the Great State of New York:
1. Parked at Fairview Mall bright and early was someone who had evidently given birth to a chicken . . .
2. And a good day to you too . . .
3. On hand about an hour and a half before I got to Fairview Mall was someone who used Visa to put $23.00 on his Presto card, $2.81 of which went to covering an overdraft, and didn’t take his receipt. I didn’t even know they let you go over.
4. Not long after my arrival, a family of three came around and dropped anchor in a shelter at the opposite end of the platform. All three were dressed in flannel pyjamas and the guy was toting a suitcase. From the looks of them, it looks like they had spent the night in the Fairview Park Motel.
5. Waiting for a GO bus was a young man in his mid-20s who must have been bathing in cologne. The aroma was so powerful I eventually had to move down the platform.
6. Also waiting for a GO bus was a woman with a white cane who was accompanied by a friend with an excitable, yappy dog. White Cane Woman had no difficulty with the ticket machine, and after paying for her ticket with a card, she turned around, hugged her friend and urged her to keep in touch with Facebook and video chat.
7. Going down Victoria Avenue in Niagara Falls (Canada), I passed by someone on the sidewalk who stopped another guy and asked him how to get to Buffalo. If only he had known that that’s where I was headed.
8. Ahead of me in line at U.S. Customs was someone with a New Brunswick plate. Following a quick inspection, they were routed to secondary.
9. Among the questions I was asked by the CBP officer who served me was, “Do you have your diabetic needles with you?” After I answered “No,” she said she was thinking of someone else. Or maybe it was a ruse to see what my reaction would be.
10. Upon boarding the #77 Buffalo-bound bus on Third Street, it smelled like someone had shit their pants near the front.
11. Approaching the Niagara Street exit, the driver royally cut off a big rig that had just come from the Peace Bridge.
12. Waiting inside the Metropolitan Transportation Center was a chunky woman with purple hair wearing a low-cut pink dress, which showed off the many scratches on her back.
13. After unlocking my bike, I spotted some dude walking down Ellicott Street trying in vain to balance an empty plastic milk jug on his head.
14. Near this scene, I spotted an Erie County Sheriff car. The slogan on the bottom was “Proudly serving Erie County since 1821.” Well, I didn’t think they had been serving Niagara County.
15. His dog is the shit . . .
16. Free mattresses . . .
17. Give thanks unto the Lord . . .
18. Scenes that just scream “Buffalo” . . .
19. Any guesses as to what would happen if someone put up a Caucasian food co-op?
20. No doubt this place used to be known as Eskimo Provision . . .
21. Words of wisdom . . .
22. Sadly, too many subscribe to this line of thinking . . .
23. The Electric Tower:
24. This dude seated nearby in Spot Coffee was getting many compliments on his hat as he was singing along to the music being played inside the restaurant . . .
25. The spider webs on the overhead lighting were so thick that it’s a wonder the spiders weren’t being charged rent . . .
26. Put down the cheesecake . . .
27. Walking into the downtown library was an older woman who said to her friend, “I don’t have buoyancy anymore.”
28. Boarding the Falls-bound #77 bus was a chunky black woman wearing a tight T-shirt with the message, “I stand with Seneca.” From the looks of her, she stands with Dairy Queen.
29. Sadly, most passengers paid their fare with their phones. A few, like me, paid with their MetGo card, and only one paid with cash. But, unlike the case in the Old Country, everyone did pay.
30. Among those taking pictures at this new selfie magnet in the state park was a guy who snapped a shot of his dog in front of the sign.
31. Niagara Falls, the selfie capital of the world . . .
32. Other shots in the state park:
33. Tourists packing the boats on both sides of the river . . .
34. The driver of the regional transit bus that took me back to St. Catharines was lamenting how the regional drivers don’t get a dedicated lunch break. But she did have time to go for a smoke.
35. En route, some kids in the back were playing some loud video game on their phone. The driver asked them to turn it off. They did. As a good friend noted, if that happened in the Old Country, any driver brave enough to make such a request would have been physically assaulted.
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