On the Road – Litter Police, Free Jeans, Spiritual Healers and More
June 11, 2024
Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s excursion to and from Brampton:
1. Upon my arrival at the Fairview Mall bus stop, I couldn’t help but notice a Little Miss Prissy who had a bouquet of flowers in her hand and was toting a bag with a “Congrats Grad” balloon sticking out. After buying her ticket at the machine, she proceeded to spend the next several minutes looking at herself using her phone’s camera as a mirror.
2. The #12 bus showed up as scheduled. This shouldn’t be a noteworthy event. But perhaps to compensate, Metrolinx staged another impromptu Customer Appreciation Day as the Presto machine on the bus wasn’t working, thus allowing Burlington-bound passengers to ride like Winnipeggers.
3. When the bus pulled up to the Beamsville stop, some dude whipped out a cigarette, lit it and hurriedly got in a few puffs before tossing what was left of the carcinogen stick and boarding. Imagine being that addicted.
4. The long-overdue ticket machine at the Confederation GO stop, along with a look at the progress of the new terminal. Now if only they would replace the shattered glass in the shelter.
5. While marooned in the middle of bumper-to-bumper traffic beyond the Centennial Parkway exit, I couldn’t help but recall Sal Sorrento’s boast that, if re-elected, Doug Ford would fix the congestion problems on the QEW. If anything, it’s gotten worse since People’s Commissar Ford was elected to head the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of Ontario.
6. New at Burlington GO are shelters and covered platforms for those catching Burlington Transit buses.
7. I’m 50 & fab . . .
8. At the Erin Mills Transitway station was a garbage bin affixed with a notice stating that you could be fined $305 for littering. Somehow I doubt that the Mississauga Litter Police have issued many citations. Call it a hunch.
9. Free jeans at the Mississauga City Center bus terminal . . .
10. Inside the Brampton Züm bus . . .
11. Like the MiWay buses in Mississauga, Brampton Transit buses are made by New Flyer. Not just in the Old Country, but in the suburb where I grew up.
12. The automated voice making the announcements on Brampton Transit buses sounds like a snotty middle-aged woman with food in her mouth.
13. One of those announcements was “Please do not distract the operator while the bus is in motion.” This while another driver was standing up front engaging the operator in a running conversation that lasted for more than a half an hour. Do as we say, not as we do.
14. Boarding at Brittania Road was a guy who tapped his card, then asked the driver if she was going to the stop he wanted, which she wasn’t. It’s of no consequence anyway, since he’ll get a free transfer to the bus he needed, but I’d ask before tapping my card, not after.
15. Chai, mini donuts and world peace . . .
16. I’m sure the Hazel McCallion LRT will be something I’ll want to take when it’s completed, but in the meantime, the construction to make way for it on Hurontario Street is a disaster and to be avoided at all costs. In addition, I can’t imagine what damage the bumpy streets are doing to the undercarriage of buses.
17. During both of my trips on the Brampton Züm, the back door was sticky. For a moment there, I thought I was on Winnipeg Transit, where problems with the back door are among the top complaints.
18. Trash bins in Brampton have the slogan “clean and green” on them. Yet the bins are blue.
19. June is Pride Month, Bike Month and Seniors Month. Now it’s also Indigenous History Month, as proudly proclaimed on Brampton buses . . .
20. Various signs of gayness around town . . .
21. A place to go after getting your seventh booster, assuming you survive it . . .
22. Scenes at Garden Square . . .
23. Walking around town reminded me of a recent conversation with a friend who noted how fortunate we were to live in this part of the world, where we could get on a plane and go anywhere, even Bangladesh. But, as I said, if you really wanted to visit Bangladesh, you don’t need to get on a plane. All you have to do is take a GO bus to Brampton, where nary is heard an English word and where sightings of Caucasians are as rare as days without a Liberal mega-scandal.
24. They love tennis, but evidently not too many others did . . .
25. I saw many posters for these spiritual healers and psychic readers around town. Whatever.
26. This was the ultimate sign that I wasn’t in St. Catharines, The Fireworks City . . .
27. Just abandon your rented scooter on the sidewalk . . .
28. Perhaps written by someone who was proud of the haul he got out of his nose . . .
29. In my return visit to the Kennedy Square Mall, a place that last saw my shadow seven years earlier, the Eau de Insecticide that permeates every square inch of the place was even stronger than I remembered. I couldn’t even blame the cashiers at the food store for wearing dipshit masks. If I had to work there, I’d probably be wearing one of those professional-grade respirators.
30. I found this especially odd. There’s probably a story behind this and one I may not want to know.
31. During my wait at the Burlington Carpool lot, I spotted a DWAM™ seated on a bench and another walking around working out the kinks in his shoulder. Outside. There are still people out there who haven’t figured it out and obviously never will.
32. Also during my wait, I was asked by a fellow traveler if there were bathrooms on the bus, when the bus was coming and where the platform was. Then someone else came by and asked where you tap your card, to which I answered that you tap on the bus. Not that I mind helping out, but sometimes I think Metrolinx should offer me a job as a part-time customer care representative.
33. I know I’ve said it before, but Metrolinx needs to install a washroom at the Burlington Carpool lot, even if it’s just one of those portable toilets. Going behind the nearby building and taking a whizz in the bushes doesn’t cut it.
34. In the shelter was an overage teenager who was engaged in a lengthy conversation with someone about pants. That’s something I’d, like, wear to my, like, grandparents’ house, she said. I like flare pants. They make your butt look like a tin. She went on to say that black always goes with something, but she wears enough black as it is.
35. Past the Centennial Parkway exit on the QEW was a guy who had pulled over onto the shoulder so he could go behind his car and take a whizz. Yet there were plenty of places nearby he could have gone and used a public washroom.
36. Video of the ride from the Burlington Carpool lot back to St. Catharines:
| Previous post | Next post |