The Garden City Refugee

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Back on the Road

August 25, 2017

Observations from a brief ride around the city today:

1. To the joggerette I passed on a side street first thing this morning: The perfume or body wash you use was meant to be applied a splash at a time. You’re not supposed to use the entire bottle. Try reading the instructions. They’re there, I promise. They even print instructions on soap bottles.

1a. Once I stopped coughing, I remembered a former colleague I had the misfortune of often being in the same building with decades ago who, like this joggerette, also applied perfume much too liberally. I would sometimes joke that she had three taps in her washroom at home, with one of them being for water.

2. I couldn’t help but notice some rubby-dub walking down Geneva completely engrossed in a conversation. With himself.

3. Why is there a Catherine Street in St. Catharines and a Catharine Street in Hamilton, Welland and Port Colborne? And a Catharine Crescent in Niagara Falls?

3a. How often do you think all the Catharines/Catherines get misspelled in this part of the world? It might be easier to count the number of times they are spelled correctly.

4. This sight reminded me of my former home city, which was one big off-leash dog park:

5. I’m sure everyone in the densely populated residential area I passed by around 7:30 this morning genuinely appreciated the construction worker using what appeared to be a leaf blower that I could hear from blocks away.

6. The chunky, bordering-on-obese joggerette I passed by on Pelham Road really needs to invest in a good sports bra. It was another of those unappealing sights I only wish I could un-see.

7. This sign in advance of the Pelham Road/MacTurnbull Drive/Louth Street intersection is one of the oddest I’ve ever seen:

8. More good deals on pre-owned furniture:

9. I’m not sure what language the mentally disturbed man I saw on Queenston Street was barking at the top of his lungs. About the only word of English he seemed to know started with the letter ‘F.’

10. Farther down the street was a man in a wheelchair with his cap out looking for donations with an equally good pair of lungs bellowing out some monosyllabic grunt-like words in a dialect I’m probably happy I don’t understand.

11. Queenston Street between Geneva and Eastchester is an, um, interesting place. Interesting as in don’t go there after dark.

12. What exactly is a “miked drink”?

13. Imagine my shock at seeing a city sign without one of our mayor’s re-election campaign slogans on it. He must be slipping.

13a. Do you really need to be told not to walk on the rocks?

14. I lost count of the number of dogs I spotted today, yet they all were on leashes. This is definitely not the Old Country.

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