On the Road in the Great State of New York
August 23, 2017
Observations from my 37th two-wheeled trip to the Great State of New York:
1. Would you expect them to be promoting an unlicensed mechanic?
2. With terrorism running rampant these days, is it really appropriate to be using the term “grenade” in promoting protein bars?
3. Outside the Project SHARE office on Stanley Avenue was a scruffy old bum with a better bike than mine puffing on a cigarette. He lacks money for food and/or shelter, but he’s got money for smokes. But as I’ve been told, I’m just an ignorant person who doesn’t know the real issues behind poverty. Right.
4. Scenes on the Robert Moses Recreation Trail:
4a. Yes, it’s still called the Robert Moses Recreation Trail even though Moses’ name has been removed from the adjacent parkway now known as the Niagara Scenic Parkway.
5. Scenes at Whirlpool State Park:
6. Also at Whirlpool State Park was a guide leading a tour group making a stop on their way to Niagara Falls State Park. She was seriously overweight and wheezing as she was waddling along trying to keep up with the group. Given the physical requirements for the job, one would think a tour guide would have to be at least slightly fit. Or at least a little less unfit. More on that topic later.
7. Would you want to be in this car dangling over the Whirlpool Gorge?
8. With the park adjacent to two bike paths, you’d think there would be a bike rack there. But there wasn’t. Sigh.
9. There also weren’t any paper towels or hand dryers in the washroom. But at least there was soap and running water. And the washroom was actually open, which it isn’t for most of the year.
10. It was nice of the state to pay tribute to their Canadian neighbors with this shelter. It’s not just a shelter, but a shelter, eh.
10a. I’ll pause for a moment while you groan.
11. Passing this street, I couldn’t help but recall a line from Peppermint Patty in a Peanuts movie, “Lafayette, we are here!”
11a. Below the street sign is a New York reference marker, one of which appears every tenth of a mile on each highway in the state. Someone thinks that makes sense.
12. Scenes around Reservoir State Park:
13. It was nice of Andrew to ensure that these stretching aids were placed along the pathway. He thinks of everything.
14. FedEx. When it’s just got to get there.
15. I noticed this Dollar General, but what about other USFL teams?
16. Would you expect him to specialize in non-medical oncology?
17. There was serious room for improvement in the friendliness of the clerk who served me at the Tim Hortons on Military Road in the Town of Niagara.
18. After moaning and groaning about their satellite radio provider, calling them “a bunch of screwies,” the seniors seated across from me were planning their southerly migration to Arizona. Yet for someone like me, having grown up in the frozen wilderness of the SPRM, this part of the world feels like a winter paradise.
19. I nearly jumped out of my chair when one of them started talking about the “Old Country.” I dare say she wasn’t talking about the SPRM.
20. There was a poster on the wall facing me promoting Tim Hortons’ Childrens’ Camps, one of which is in Pinawa, MB. I can’t imagine how many people come in there and scratch their heads wondering where that Pinawa place must be.
21. Given its proximity to the busy shopping district, I was surprised that there was only one Ontario plate in the parking lot.
21a. The Military Road shopping district, which includes the fashion outlet mall, a Wal-Mart Supercenter, K-Mart, Wegmans and the Tops/Target plaza nearby gets more traffic than the falls on that side of the river.
22. Of the eight others in the place, three were seriously obese, a recurring and disturbing theme I would notice throughout the day. One of those obese patrons was a young girl no older than 10.
22a. One of the seniors seated nearby who was one of the heavyweights said she was going home to bake herself a banana cream pie. She needed another banana cream pie like I need another hole in my head.
23. Being on Military Road, it was only fitting that someone from the U.S. Air Force walked in.
23a. I can just imagine how many SJWs out there would be triggered by simply being near Military Road.
24. Scenes from Hyde Park:
25. I never promised you a rose garden:
26. A truck from “Buffalo Exterminating” passed me on Walnut Avenue. Why would you want to exterminate Buffalo?
27. Please tell me this isn’t for gay dogs:
28. I spotted two Mexican plates during the day. Given how this area attracts tourists from all over the world, that people are visiting from Mexico isn’t surprising but that they drove all that way is.
29. I also spotted two “642” plates and at the Niagara USA Visitor Center, my Garmin handheld GPS told me that my elevation was 642 feet above sea level. Once again, I was not alone. You may understand. You may not.
30. In the washroom at the Niagara USA Visitor Center, someone in a stall flushed the toilet, then walked out without washing his hands. For a moment there, I thought I was back in the Old Country, where such things hardly stand out like they do here.
31. A piano for gays only?
32. Many hamburgers and hot dogs, but only one sausage:
33. The attendant I had today at the Rainbow Bridge didn’t seem the slightest bit annoyed by the collection of nickels and dimes I paid my 50-cent toll with, unlike the one I had the last time I went over the river.
34. In light of how the Liberal government is failing to defend our borders and allowing illegal migrants to cross at will, as a law-abiding citizen born and raised in Canada, I seriously resent waiting in line and being grilled by a CBSA officer for exercising a constitutional right.
34a. Can we please stop calling them “refugees” or “asylum seekers”?
35. With my “compliements” ...
36. Um, whatever ...
37. What do people see at the NOTL outlet mall? When I stopped there to use the washroom on my return trip, the food court was absolutely packed and I wasn’t even there during the noon hour.
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