On the Road – Nauseating Groveling, Broken Brains, Super Boosters and More
July 15, 2025
Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s trek to and from the universe’s center:
1. While waiting at Niagara Transit’s Fairview Mall layover yard, I noticed the hashtag #ThanksTransit flashing on passing buses in honor of Transit Operator & Worker Appreciation Day. And I do appreciate the transit workers. The superior public transit here is, in fact, one of the many reasons that drew me to this part of the world. But it’s not as though I’m not paying handsomely for the service through my taxes. Just once, I’d like to see a Taxpayer Appreciation Day. Just once.
2. Before taking a seat on the opposite side of the aisle from me, a 20-something woman with laptop in hand cast an evil scowl my way. What the hell did I do to you? I wondered.
3. At the Confederation stop was a chunky black woman waddling up to the bus toting a bag with “Bride to be” on it. Pity the poor sap who’s about to become her husband. With any luck, he’ll use the time before the wedding wisely and reconsider.
4. At the top of the stairs leading to the platform at the Burlington GO station was a fare inspector checking Presto cards. While I appreciate such efforts, I only wish they were just as vigilant about enforcing the no-smoking edict on the platform which was being flaunted by some bum puffing away while sitting on his backpack.
5. As seats filled up on the Union-bound express train, this woman was using her large backpack, perched in the window seat, as a pillow. Somehow, I doubt she paid an extra fare for the backpack.
6. As the train approached the Oakville station, I noticed a fox scurrying out of the bushes and away from the tracks.
7. More nauseating state-sanctioned groveling . . .
8. Ahead of me in line waiting to get into a subway car was a young black woman wearing a T-shirt with the message, “Educated. Motivated. Elevated. Melanated.” on the back. And on the front was the message, “Celebrating black students’ excellence.” As if being black somehow made her more special than the rest of us.
9. Whereas there were only a few DWAMs™ on the train, there were more than a dozen of them in the subway. Those are people whose minds are permanently broken.
10. I wonder if this winged passenger at the Wellesley station tapped his Presto card to get through the gates . . .
11. You have to wonder if anyone who isn’t gay or a “refugee” is even welcome there . . .
12. The guy with a turban who served me at the Good Earth Coffeehouse seemed to be able to speak English, but he had a lot of trouble with the word “tea” when I was ordering. Working in a coffee shop, you’d think it would have been one of the first words he had mastered. Whatever the case, it marked yet another instance when I had an easier time getting through in French to native French speakers in Quebec than speaking English in Toronto.
13. Soon after taking a seat by the window, I spotted a Caucasian woman walking by who looked like she was about to cry.
14. Two of the many DWAMs™ I spotted during my time there. Outside.
15. Making a left turn onto Wellesley from Yonge Street was a cyclist with a rolled-up rug strapped to her waist. I just wanted to scream, “Just pay the delivery charge!”
16. Not long after leaving the coffee shop, someone asked me which direction Bay Street was. And I was able to tell her. Part of me feels like a local even though I don’t live there.
17. Just in case anyone was interested in an 1858 atlas of Toronto, there’s one emblazoned on the sidewalk on Yonge Street . . .
18. How welcoming and inclusive of them . . .
19. Perched alongside a building between College and Gerrard was a DWAM™ with a two-wheeled cart and wearing a bicycle helmet. Outside. All I could think of was that it was a waste of a perfectly good helmet, since there’s clearly nothing under that helmet worth protecting.
20. More nauseating groveling . . .
21. The soup of the day in the Swedish Deli was Hungarian mushroom.
22. No thank you. And even if I was so inclined, they don’t accept cash, which lets me out.
23. Not far from this barf-worthy land acknowledgment at Yonge-Dundas Square was someone wearing a face shield. Outside. Another sorry soul suffering from Stockholm syndrome.
24. I thought I was in Toronto, not Buffalo . . .
25. I didn’t take the time to check out this “pride shop” . . .
26. I haven’t seen this many Snoopys in one place since I was at Camp Snoopy in Mall of America . . .
27. With the number of victims of the gene-altering poison injections skyrocketing, the Booster Juice chain really needs to consider changing its name as the word “booster” is becoming synonymous with “death.”
28. People’s Commissar Doug Ford, Chairman of the Supreme Soviet for Ontario, still won’t let you purchase US booze at the LCBO, but there’s no shortage of gayness in their stores . . .
29. Needless to say, I was not one of those who added to the count of who passed through TD’s rainbow arch . . .
30. More pillars of society who hang out at Union . . .
31. Who the hell is Selena Gomez and why would I want her initials imprinted on an Oreo cookie?
32. While in the York Concourse, a Metrolinx staffer handed a bag with some coloring books to a kid whose mother said, “You’re supposed to say ‘thank you.’” But the kid should have been thanking people like me instead since taxpayers paid for it, not the Metrolinx staffer.
33. Boarding the Burlington-bound Lakeshore West train was a guy wearing a light orange turban and sporting a Rollie Fingers-esque handlebar mustache.
34. New at Burlington GO is a pop-up Destination Ontario kiosk staffed by two young girls handing out maps of the universe’s center and Ontario tourist guides.
35. Ahead of me in line waiting for the #12 GO bus were Mr. & Mrs. Dipshit and their two children. And on a day when there was a heat warning in effect, Mr. Dipshit was wearing a fur-lined parka.
36. Boarding at Confederation was a 20-something woman wearing a black T-shirt with the message, “Fried chicken is the universal language.”
| Previous post |