On the Road – Sleeping Bums, Subway Characters, Gay Shoes and More
December 15, 2024
Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s excursion to and from the universe’s center:
1. While exiting the bus at Burlington, I noticed someone had left their glasses behind.
2. This pizza vending machine is another new addition to the Burlington GO station. Five varieties: cheese, vegetarian, BBQ chicken, beef pepperoni and meat lovers. And naturally, cash is not accepted.
3. While waiting on the platform at Burlington, some weird-looking dude came staggering by and asked me if I had seen someone with a yellow or blue bike.
4. Someone boarded at Exhibition carrying a tote bag with THE TOTE BAG emblazoned on it. Just in case she forgot what it was that she was carrying.
5. In the accessibility coach was a homeless guy with a shopping cart full of all his worldly possessions.
6. A cornucopia of passed-out bums in Union Station. Perhaps this was the reason there was such an abnormally high security presence there.
7. Words of wisdom in the subway . . .
8. In the subway was an ad from CAMH asking for those who use cannabis regularly to participate in a study of how cannabis affects connections in the brain. Do they really need a bunch of highly paid bureaucrats to find out if smoking pot fries your brain?
9. As some weirdo randomly pointing at things staggered by, I wondered who was more mentally disturbed. Him or DWAMs™ like this whose brains are stuck in permanent psychosis?
10. On the platform at the Bloor-Yonge station was an obese woman perched on her walker constantly repeating, “Please help me.” Nearby was a middle-aged woman seated on a bench who appeared to be somewhat normal, but was muttering things to herself. And next to me was an Asian DWAM™ who was working her way through a scratch-and-lose ticket. Later, she risked inhaling a deadly virus by taking down her mask so she could pop a candy into her mouth.
11. When his stop came on the #2 line, a DWAM™ wearing a medical-grade N95 dipshit mask was too afraid to grab the pole in front of him to help him get up out of his seat and instead steadied himself on the pole using his forearm.
12. Monkey in the window of a storefront on Danforth:
13. You think this restaurant could have used a little more salt on the sidewalk?
14. Don’t leave your children unattended . . . or else.
15. Another of Toronto’s residents who is experiencing homelessness . . .
16. Let’s just say this person holds the minority opinion. Canadians are fed up with having their passports, bank cards and driver’s licenses held for ransom by a bunch of spoiled children demanding raises they’ve hardly earned.
17. Too bad I missed this, um, performance . . .
18. Danger due to digital distraction . . .
19. “Performers” outside St. Lawrence Market . . .
20. Video walkthrough of Union Station from the York Concourse through the food court, ending in the Bay Concourse:
21. While in the washroom at Union, after doing his business at the urinal, a black guy walked up to the mirror and yelled, “Jesus Christ, motherf---er!” He then fiddled with his hair and said, “It’s a f---ing mess!”
22. Metrolinx really needs to stop being so miserly with their use of salt on the platforms. I can actually see a bit of pavement under there. Somewhere.
23. Across the aisle from me on the Lakeshore West train was this passed-out dude dressed in a Kenora dinner jacket. With available seats few and far between on account of reduced service this weekend, a young couple came by and wanted to take a seat opposite me until they looked over and saw him. “Weird, weird,” they said before moving on.
24. How very welcoming and inclusive of this guy . . .
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