On the Road – Bad Spellers, Trusting Souls, Double Dipshits and More
November 20, 2025
Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s journey to and from the universe’s center:
1. For perhaps the first time ever, I had a single-decker bus on both trips to and from Burlington.
2. When exiting the QEW at Beamsville, we were at the back of a line 15 deep. What was so popular at Beamsville? I wondered.
3. Once again, the once-pokey Beamsville stop saw a lot of activity and, in my experience, has clearly become more popular than Grimsby.
4. Despite all the rightly deserved negative press Tim Davinder Hortons has been getting of late, there was still a line of 12 people waiting at their location inside the Burlington GO station.
5. The guy checking Presto cards on the platform at Burlington GO bore a strong resemblance to the real estate agent who sold our house in the Old Country. The same real estate agent who recently blocked me on Facebook.
6. After I boarded the train, taking a seat nearby was a guy who started eating a banana. I thought I’d have been smelling it the whole way to Union, but he had the courtesy to take it to the garbage bin on the mezzanine level.
7. As we approached the Bronte station, there was an announcement stating that the elevators were out of service and that anyone who needed the elevator should instead exit the train at Oakville. If you’re disabled and need to get to Bronte, what good does that do you? I wondered.
8. Passing out fliers at the Ossington station was an elderly TTC staffer wearing a button stating, “I speak English.” That is not to be assumed in Toronto.
9. Need any “plumping” work done?
10. If you’re reading this, Canada is not free . . .
11. Eat where the geniuses eat . . .
12. Seated nearby at the Good Earth Coffeehouse was a couple of 20-somethings. “Is it, like, Day 0 or Day 1?” asked the Asian kid of his white buddy. “I know how, like, long a day takes. It helps, like, to have a little time,” he went on to say. “I can, like, take it slow . . . like, from my perspective, they’re doing a lot of things.”
13. While listening to this, a TTC bus passed by with an ad from Global News plastered on the side. “Stick to the facts,” the caption read. Practice what you preach.
14. Soon after, an unkempt bum moseyed in and started asking patrons for money. He was promptly shown the door and left.
15. While I was in the Swedish Deli at Ikea, an Asian woman got up from her chair and went to the washroom, leaving her Apple laptop and coat behind unattended. When she got back, they were still there, untouched. Once again, this is not Winnipeg.
16. Seated nearby in Eaton Center was a guy talking telling his female companion how he saw a video on YouTube explaining how you can be tracked with your phone and that you should shut down all those apps. You just learned that now? I wondered. The guy must live in a cave.
17. In the Royal Bank Plaza was an ad from the University of Manitoba. Seriously, do they really think anyone from the GTA is going to consider going to Winnipeg, of all places, for their education? Most Torontonians would have trouble picking Winnipeg out on a map.
18. One of many DWAMs™ I spotted on the day, including several outside. Here, she risks life and limb to eat something before putting her dipshit mask back on to “protect” herself. No doubt she’s among those who’ve completed The Dirty Dozen of shots.
19. In the washroom in the York Concourse at Union Station was someone using a mechanical snake in one of the urinals. Judging from the smell, there must have been a big backup of sewage in the line.
20. Exiting the train with me at Burlington was a black guy wearing not one, but two dipshit masks. A double dipshit.
21. Gone from the Burlington GO station is the automated pizza vending machine. I guess pizza wasn’t that popular with commuters.
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