On the Road – Troubled Souls, Subway Sleepers, Gay Buses and More
September 24, 2024
Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s trek to and from the universe’s center:
1. Bright and early, some bum was going through the garbage bins at Fairview Mall, pulling out the aluminum cans and crushing them before putting them into his own bag. Yet though he clearly had little in the way of worldly assets, he did have enough money for the cigarette that was hanging out of his mouth. Once again, stop me if you’ve seen this movie before.
2. I noted with interest that when the GO bus pulled up, there were two bikes on the rack and someone else was wheeling a bike out the front door. I support the driver’s decision to allow this person take their bike on board, but this should be an official policy, not left to the driver’s discretion, especially in light of Metrolinx’s ill-fated decision to no longer allow bikes in the luggage compartment.
3. As the bus was stuck in the middle of bumper-to-bumper traffic as far back as Winona Road, I couldn’t help but again be reminded of Sal Sorrento’s boast during the last provincial election that People’s Commissar Ford was going to fix the traffic congestion problem on the QEW. Just like Ford was going to get rid of Wynne’s sex-ed program and introduce a parental bill of rights.
4. Walking down Fairview Street in Burlington in the pouring rain was a guy carrying a giant wooden cross. A little late, or early, for Easter, methinks.
5. Under the seat in front of me on the GO train was this empty can of beer. Either someone was getting an early start or the car hadn’t been cleaned. Both possibilities are equally likely in my books.
6. Boarding at Oakville was a woman toting a bag from Lululemon with the message, “Breathe deeply.”
7. Boarding at Clarkson was a DWAM™ toting a bag with the message, “Be better.” Well, practice what you preach and ditch the dipshit mask.
8. Seated across the aisle from me was a woman in her mid-50s with an unusually sad and troubled look on her face.
9. The GO bear in the York Concourse, all part of rail safety week apparently . . .
10. Stationed at the fare gates were TTC enforcement officers making sure no one was tailgating behind a fare-paying passenger to get into the subway for free.
11. This woman in a motorized scooter spent her entire ride muttering to herself and making weird gestures . . .
12. Walking past me in my car was a DWAM™ toting a book along with a bag bearing the message, “Literacy is Power.” Clearly, it hasn’t worked in her case.
13. This passed-out dude was obviously making himself at home . . .
14. Literary genius. Or not.
15. Spotted in one of the stations was an ad from CBC promoting their free streaming service. “No payment entertainment,” they called it. Sure, if you discount the billions they get from taxpayers. Better to call it “no additional payment entertainment.”
16. Or just let the law of natural selection run its course . . .
17. Boarding at the Bloor-Yonge station on my return trip was a dude with rings in his ears and his nose wearing a cap with the message, “I only have time for coffee.”
18. Use the time in the subway to catch a few winks . . .
19. The clerk who served me at A & W in Eaton Center rang up my order then said, “Whenever you’re ready,” fully expecting me to whip out a card and tap it on the reader. I crossed her up when I handed her a $10 bill. Shocked, she looked up and said, “Oh, cash!” She took the bill, opened the register and asked her colleague for help as to how to complete the transaction. Nearly a minute later, she told me how much change I’d get and proceeded to hand it to me.
20. Seated across from me in the food court was a woman who somehow managed to grab a few bites from her Chick-Fil-A order as she was madly texting and browsing on her phone.
21. As the Lakeshore West train was nearing Burlington, the unnamed customer service ambassador told us that GO was pleased to provide bus connections at Burlington for various communities including St. Catharines. “Please proceed to the GO bus loop to connect with your GO bus,” she said. Who’d ever think you’d find a GO bus at a GO bus loop? I wondered. It was sure good they have those customer service ambassadors on board. What would we do without them?
22. Outside the washroom at the Burlington GO station was a couple of guys getting ready to clean the walls. “That’s a lot of walls to clean,” one of them said. “Too much walls in one day.”
23. Apparently it isn’t good enough to have gay GO buses for only one month of the year, we have to have them year-round now.
24. Disembarking at Stoney Creek was a woman toting a backpack with a sticker on the back which read, “Call me Lady Bird.”
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