Tales from a Day on the Road
August 17, 2017
1. While pedaling up the escarpment on Taylor Road this morning, I spotted a couple pedaling like mad on their way down. This just in. You don’t need to pedal down the escarpment. In fact, you should be using your brakes. As old Oakland Raiders fans used to say, speed kills.
2. Also on Taylor Road, a couple riding on a motorcycle with Michigan plates passed me. Instead of hanging on to the back of the driver for dear life, the woman in the rear was busy texting. Once again, speed kills. Along with inattention.
3. An interesting sign in front of a church on Dorchester Road:
3a. Is it a free ... Methodist church or a church for free Methodists?
4. I’ve said it before, but is this sign really necessary?
5. I can’t imagine how much some women would be willing to pay to have the size of boobs the 80-year-old guy I spotted on the sidewalk farther south on Dorchester had. That was one of those sights I only wish I could un-see.
6. Would you expect them to be promoting ice cold subs?
7. How exactly do you melt a mushroom? Inquiring minds want to know.
8. Don’t just fry one fish, fry the whole family.
9. I spotted these “special coaches” parked at Table Rock. Are they for “special” passengers like the kind who participate in the Special Olympics?
10. To the tourists at Table Rock: Act like you’ve been there before.
11. While overlooking said wide-eyed tourists at Table Rock, I was listening to a few Niagara Parks employees lament the upcoming minimum wage increase. Their biggest argument against it was that someone doing a demanding job at $15/hour could just leave and get the same job working at McDonald’s or Giant Tiger. Except that McDonald’s, Giant Tiger and other such businesses won’t be hiring. In fact, they’ll be laying off. In the case of McDonald’s and other fast-food restaurants, they’ll be replaced by kiosks and those who keep their jobs will be run around so much they won’t want to work there for any amount of money.
12. From the looks on their faces as they were getting drenched from the rainy mist, those same tourists who came from near and far likely didn’t anticipate getting so up and close and personal with the falls.
13. Sadly, modesty really has gone out of style.
14. I swear there’s a regional bylaw which states that all visitors to the Falls must stop for a selfie at Table Rock.
15. I laughed as I spotted a mother spraying her kid with insect repellent. That’s something you need to do in the Old Country, not here. I could count the number of mosquitoes I’ve spotted in my 3+ years since leaving the SPRM on one hand.
16. They should really print “I AM A TOURIST” on the lanyards they hand out with the WEGO day passes.
17. I spotted a car with a bumper sticker from “Catholic Radio” on Bridge Street. Nowadays, with Western culture under attack from the alt-left, I’m surprised such a thing is still allowed.
18. I didn’t spot a Manitoba plate today, but I saw plenty with the last three digits of 204, the original area code for the socialist republic I once called home. That place does follow me around. But you’ve heard that before.
| Previous post | Next post |