Much Ado About A Hot Water Tank
March 15, 2015
In another tribute to the style of David Thorne, following is a tale about the termination a hot water tank rental. Any similarity to current events is strictly unavoidable.From: David Thorne
To: Customer Service Department
Date: Tuesday, March 10 9:30 AM
Subject: Hot Water Tank Rental
I have purchased a hot water tank for my home and therefore, I wish to terminate my rental with your company. Please advise me as to where I can drop off the old tank.
Thank you.
David Thorne
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From: Wendy Briggs
To: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday, March 10 10:15 AM
Subject: Re: Hot Water Tank Rental
Dear Mr. Thorne:
As a loyal customer, we wish to inform you that you qualify for a free rental for the next four months. The savings should be reflected in your next gas bill.
Thank you for your business and if you have any further concerns regarding to your rental, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Warmest regards,
Wendy Briggs
Customer Retention Agent
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From: David Thorne
To: Wendy Briggs
Date: Tuesday, March 10 10:41 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Hot Water Tank Rental
Dear Ms. Briggs:
I apologize for not being clear in my previous e-mail. As I have purchased a tank of my own, I want to terminate the rental of the tank I currently have with your company.
Please advise me as to where I can drop off the old tank.
Thank you.
David Thorne
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From: Hal Potts
To: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday, March 10 11:36 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hot Water Tank Rental
Congratulations Mr. Thorne. In addition to the free four-month rental, we will be sending someone to your home tomorrow for a free inspection of your furnace and air conditioning system. Please let us know what time would be most convenient for you.
We value your business and strive to meet and exceed our customers' expectations each and every day.
Regards,
Hal Potts
Customer Retention Supervisor
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From: David Thorne
To: Hal Potts
Date: Tuesday, March 10 12:55 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hot Water Tank Rental
Mr. Potts, thank you so much for your generous and timely offer. I can't tell you how relieved I am knowing that I won't have to pay rental charges for four whole months on a tank I no longer require. Having a perfect stranger come into my home to inspect my brand new furnace and air conditioning system is just an added bonus. Even though everything seems to be running smoothly right now, it is much better to be proactive. I'm glad your company thinks of everything.
I won't be at home tomorrow, but I'll be sure to leave the door open for the inspector. Please tell him not to mind my pit bull, Brutus. He's had all his shots and though pit bulls get such a bad rap in the media, Brutus is extremely playful. I'm sure the inspector won't even feel the bite on his leg when he walks through the front door.
If it's not too much trouble, please have the inspector take the hot water tank with him when he leaves.
Thank you.
David Thorne
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From: Jennie Spearing
To: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday, March 10 2:38 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hot Water Tank Rental
Dear Mr. Thorne:
I'm afraid our inspector will not be able to come to your house unless the dog is penned up. Please let us know when you will be able to secure the dog so we can inspect your furnace and air conditioning system.
If any repairs are needed to either of your furnace or air conditioning unit, as a valued customer, you may also qualify for a 10% discount on any parts.
Sincerely,
Jennie Spearing
Customer Retention Manager
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From: David Thorne
To: Jennie Spearing
Date: Tuesday, March 10 4:11 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hot Water Tank Rental
Dear Ms. Spearing:
Thank you so much for reminding me about Brutus. I'll have to make sure not to feed him tonight so that if your inspector dares to set foot on my property, he'll be even more anxious to sink his teeth into the fresh meat. I do love him, but he's got such an appetite at times. I swear he eats like a horse.
I do appreciate your company's offer of free rental for a tank I no longer want, but I really must cancel the rental. As I originally requested, please forward the address of the depot where I can return the old tank.
Thank you.
David Thorne
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From: Kelly Taylor
To: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday, March 10 4:55 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hot Water Tank Rental
Dear Mr. Thorne:
Please drop off the old tank at our depot located at 567 First Avenue.
Thank you.
Kelly Taylor
Customer Service Agent
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