14 Jun

An Off-Color Tour of Hamilton

Pictures and observations from my latest tour of downtown Hamilton:

1. As I walked past the entrance to the library, a black guy in his 20s and a heavy-set white guy in his 50s were exchanging shoves and pleasantries. The black guy seemed content to let it go and walk away, but the white guy tossed aside his glasses and wanted to go. So the black guy obliged. Predictably, the black guy soon had the white guy on the ground and landed several good punches before a couple of guys across the street yelled “Enough already!”

1a. I’m not sure what precipitated this exchange, but I’d be willing to wager it wasn’t a literary disagreement.

1b. A Liberal watching the action would undoubtedly have blamed the whole affair on the hot weather, the root cause of which was climate change. Without this great evil stalking the land, the two gentlemen might have been able to settle their differences without tempers flaring. And only by taxing the living daylights out of those big, heartless job-creating multinational corporations can we effectively deal with climate change.

2. Somehow, I don’t think misusing or tampering with this fire hose is going to land you in jail for six months. Unlike, say, criticizing Islam.

3. If you can read this, the answer is no.

4. If there’s a weight restriction on this road, she’s likely a violator:

5. How’d you like to have this as your epitaph?

6. I saw a lot of such people on the streets begging for cash, yet this is the home riding of the leader of the party whose union buddies are largely responsible for so many in Hamilton being out of work. Just like with the case of the blacks in the U.S., get off the plantation and stop voting NDP.

7. This pole just kind of screamed “Downtown Hamilton.”

8. Dude, get another cart. Or call a cab. Or something.

9. Some “street art” …

10. The Hamilton Endoscopy Center. Fittingly, the handicap entrance is in the rear.

11. Be careful of what you wish for.

12. Spotted on the street was a guy selling crafts with a sign, “Too ugly 4 hooking. Homeless but crafty.”

13. While eating lunch, a young nursing student built like a bowling ball waddled by, no doubt on her way to learn more about how to lecture patients on healthy living.

14. Want try on? Go see their friendly “staffs.”

15. This guy wasn’t about to tip over, he was just riding that way. It takes a special talent, I’ll give him that. But I don’t want to know what substance he was under the influence of that made him want to show that talent off.

16. And thank yu for your patronage …

17. I didn’t think they’d be selling boys dresses …

18. One of the few pearls of wisdom on James Street …

19. Good they put that sign there …

20. An LGBT-friendly food store?

21. And good luck to you …

22. I’m sure the feeling is mutual …

23. Spotted on James Street was a heavy-set woman in a yoga pose without a bra and wearing a low-cut top feeling up her boobs while smoking a joint. Trust me, this is one visual you don’t want.

24. Across the street was an older guy slowly shedding clothing who was carrying a water bottle mostly full of a pale yellow liquid. It wasn’t apple juice.

25. A low-budget security measure?

26. Hamilton’s finest …

27. For more shots from the day, check the album I posted on Facebook, a platform I haven’t been banned on yet.