Recent PostsOn the Road – Sleepy Passengers, Air Fans, Daredevil Drivers and More
April 23, 2026
Highlights and lowlights from yesterday’s bus/bike trip to and from Hamilton and Burlington:
1. Boarding the #12 GO bus at Fairview Mall (See, Niagara Transit, they serve Fairview Mall, unlike you. Not that I’m bitter or anything.) was an older woman who hadn’t activated the pass on her phone yet. “I didn’t set my alarm clock this morning,” she said to the driver.
2. Said driver bore a strong resemblance to the actor who played Argyle, the limo driver who picked up Bruce Willis in Die Hard.
3. Standing outside the Confederation GO station was a black woman wearing a dipshit mask. Oy.
4. In the median of the Red Hill Valley Parkway was a big sign with the message, “Signal Lane Changes.” So if there’s no sign, it’s OK to change lanes without signaling?
5. The air has a fan . . .
6. Spotted on Cannon Street was a car’s bumper sticker with the message, “I downloaded this car.”
7. “Art” on display outside the former Hamilton City Center . . .
8. Hamilton’s finest hanging out across the street from the future home of the AHL’s Hamilton Hammers (yes, that’s one of the three potential names) . . .
9. Seated nearby inside Durand Coffee was a guy lamenting the demise of the Lancaster restaurant. “It used to be really good,” he said. “I used to take girlfriends there for dates. Now it’s gone to shit.”
Switching gears, he began talking about funerals and nursing homes. “They’re spending tons of money on obituaries, but not on funerals. That’s where you celebrate and cry,” he said. “Even cremations are expensive.” After one of his buddies said he spent $300 to cremate his cat, he went on to talk about the size of coffin he was offered after he and his first wife lost their first child.
Later, he said he works as a meter reader during the day, but he had applied with Bell Canada. Despite two interviews, however, he hadn’t heard back from them. He’s still hoping they’ll call him back.
10. As all this was going on, a guy seated near the door left his expensive laptop and headphones along with a book unattended as he went to the washroom. When he came back, it was all there just as he left it. This is not Winnipeg. But you’ve heard that one before.
11. A middle-aged guy with blond, spiked hair wearing a green sweatshirt walked in and immediately began lamenting the Montreal Canadiens’ loss the previous night. “Should have won the game,” he said. “Tough loss last night.” Then he began railing on one of their players. “He’s not a playoff hockey player,” he said. “He’s good on the power play, I’ll give him that. He’s got a great wrist shot.”
12. Maybe they should have called it Highway Highway instead of Highway Avenue . . .
13. Horsing around at the Burlington Waterfront . . .
14. New at the Burlington GO station is a pop-up info booth staffed by a bored customer care rep who was having trouble staying awake.
15. Enough of the groveling. A better question would be, “Do you care if this station is on treaty lands?”
16. This DWAM™ in the Burlington GO station later risked death by taking off her dipshit mask so she could eat.
17. Spotted on a Burlington Transit bus was an ad from a tattoo removal place. Sign of the times with seemingly everyone having a tattoo.
18. Boarding the #12 bus was a scruffy dude who told the driver, “I haven’t got any money.” So the driver let him ride like a Winnipegger.
19. In the middle of heavy traffic on the QEW, the GO driver was going much too fast and tailgating semi-trailers. So often, had any car ahead of him had to slam on the brakes, there’s no way he could have stopped in time without avoiding a serious collision. When I got home, I felt like kissing the ground. And yes, this was reported. This isn’t Winnipeg, where such occurrences were commonplace.
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