On the Road – Basic People, Fashion Missteps, Singing Passengers and More
April 15, 2025
Highlights and lowlights from another voyage to and from the universe’s center:
1. For the benefit of bus travelers, the final destination on the #12 bus is now shown as “DUNDAS + 407 P & R” instead of “BURLINGTON CARPOOL.” No doubt, this will lead to more “Are you going to Burlington?” questions that drivers must love. In addition “St. Catharines” is now shown as “St. Catharines Fairview” on the rotating list of stops, as the #11 (née 18K) now serves the St. Catharines downtown terminal.
2. When boarding the #12, someone behind me was playing some sort of Arabic music on his phone. Fortunately, however, this guy got off at Beamsville, a stop that is becoming increasingly popular.
3. I couldn’t help but laugh when the bus passed a truck from Modern Landfill. It reminded me of my Grade 10 English teacher who always used to say “mod-rin.”
4. New at the Burlington GO station is a Dippin’ Dots vending machine. No cash accepted, of course. Also new is this nauseating “treaty lands” notice. For “educational purposes,” they say. And while they added this state-sanctioned groveling, they took away the GO customer service windows. In their place is a new Burlington Transit customer service center. This at a major transfer point that sees plenty of commuters and tourists. Overall, this is a very good transit system, but this is another occasion that makes me seriously wonder if anyone at Metrolinx ever uses it themselves.
5. In the washroom at Burlington GO was someone sitting on the toilet grunting and swearing. As they say, the pain is real.
6. Perhaps some mental health issues in play here . . .
7. Near Union, I spotted an ad for the movie “MobLand.” No doubt, it stars Justin Trudeau and Mark Carney.
8. Spotted on the platform at Union waiting to get down the stairs was an Asian DWAM™ toting a bag with the slogan, “Green is not a color, it’s a state of mind.”
9. More “community residents” in Union . . .
10. This portly DWAM™ was spending his idle time with his e-reader, not his phone. For his sake, I hope it was a short story, since anyone still wearing a dipshit mask has undoubtedly been shot up with enough poison to choke a horse.
11. Standing by the door in my car was a black guy wearing a hat with “DOPE” written all over it. He must have been a Liberal.
12. How welcoming and inclusive of them . . .
13. This “fart mart” sticker couldn’t help but remind me of a former colleague who would randomly and unabashedly fart around the office without bothering to excuse himself.
14. Untitled Toronto . . .
15. This “cash payment preferred” sign at Rachel’s Coffee House was a welcome sight . . .
16. On the menu was a rainbow salad for $12. Add $2.50 if you want tuna or chicken and add $3 for smoked salmon. No doubt that was something for gays with money to burn.
17. There was also a pile of overripe bananas next to the cash register. I can’t imagine what they were charging for them.
18. Seated across from me was a guy in his mid-50s with dyed hair on top and a little bit of gray along the sides. Probably a Grecian Formula customer, I thought. Just a touch of gray. The wife likes it. So said Maurice Richard, who pitched it in their commercials. This guy who bore a striking resemblance to a former colleague instantly began swooning over the younger Indian girl wearing blue Nike runners and white Nike socks who sat down opposite him at the same table. He told her he parked three miles away, while she explained that she’s going for a blood test some time soon. After her cappuccino came, she noted something she saw on TV recently before the two of them turned their attention to a PowerPoint presentation she had on her Windows laptop. They needed to finalize some details before a Friday deadline.
19. When leaving, I held the door open for an older guy with a cane. He thanked me and referred to me as a “jolly good fellow.”
20. What’s wrong with basic people?
21. Gay liquor . . .
22. I figured they’d have to train drivers, but now they apparently have to train buses . . .
23. Spotted at the corner of Yonge and Yorkville was an Asian woman with dark red hair wearing a black cap with SPIRITUALLY HUNGRY written on it.
24. Someone in their infinite wisdom thinks this is some kind of fashion statement . . .
25. At first, I thought this DWAM™ was a woman. But no, he was a dude. Maybe he was some kind of trans dude. Perhaps I should have asked. Whatever the case, the dipshit mask is a sign of some serious mental illness.
26. After getting off the subway, I passed by a booth where they were giving out free samples of cheddar and sour cream Pringles Mingles. As they say in Texas, El Paso.
27. As if there isn’t enough noise and commotion in the Union food court, they add this, a DJ who thinks he’s doing the world a favor pumping out a bunch of annoying rap music.
28. These two fatsos must have been stress-testing the benches . . .
29. The guy who took a seat in the quad in front of me on the train had a picture of a marijuana plant on his phone. Now which party do you figure he’s voting for?
30. Leaving Union, I spotted a billboard from Jagmeet Singh and the NDP. I’ll fight for you, he says. Not for billionaires. This from a guy with a Rolex on his wrist and who drives a Maserati. No different than his counterparts in Manitoba who rail on conservatives for only looking out for the rich while digging into the pockets of low-income taxpayers to buy an NHL franchise for the richest man in the country.
31. High speed trains pass by on a series of adjacent train tracks. You don’t say.
32. Words of wisdom near the Burlington GO station . . .
33. Seated near the front of the #12 Niagara-bound GO bus I was on was some dude randomly singing odd tunes. Such as “This bus makes me swoon. It’s like fine perfume.”
Previous post |