The Garden City Refugee

Dear Bill Phillips

September 11, 2026

Dear Bill Phillips:

Thank you for the pamphlet you dropped in my mailbox the other day. Forgive me, I must have missed the doorbell when you came by. And the knock at the door. You did, after all, say it was your goal to knock on every door in Grantham Ward before election day. But as I looked outside and saw you going down the street, I obviously didn’t miss the knock. You weren’t knocking on any doors. Maybe that’s coming later, perhaps closer to election day. As you stated, hopefully, we will get a chance to meet. But somehow, I doubt it, as I’m sure troublemakers like me are on some sort of blacklist. The kind our MP and our mayor keep. As you’re all brothers-in-arms, I’m sure they share it with you.

I’ve often said that municipal elections are one of the best sources of dark humor and your latest pamphlet hasn’t disappointed in that regard, though you’ve done better in past election cycles. You remember, the one where you said, “When re-elected . . .” in your brochure. I’m actually surprised you didn’t use that line again. Maybe it’s just me, but you do give off the very strong impression of someone who feels divinely entitled to a council seat. See Bradley, Jim. But perhaps you’ve just decided to follow the lead of others and pretend as though you’re trying to earn our vote. Fewer complications that way.

Naturally, I nearly choked when I read that you’d continue to be our voice at City Hall when dealing with issues that concern you and that you’d respond to our concerns in a timely manner. Heck, you didn’t even respond at all when I emailed you about the staff’s crusade to eliminate cash as a method of payment. Which is why I have to take all of this to a public forum. You see, that’s what happens when you blow people off.

No, instead, you’ll continue to be the voice of the staff. Whatever the staff wants, you’re on board. Library staff want to start a political campaign? No problem. Where’s that rubber stamp? They want gold-plated raises? They want more bureaucrats? Dig out the checkbook. So much for striving to maintain the municipal portion of tax increases at or below the cost of living. Staff want to make it mandatory to use a smartphone to park downtown? Yawn. Next item on the agenda, please.

As you might have expected, I also couldn’t believe my eyes when I read about you serving on the Chief Administrative Officer Evaluation Committee. For all the oversight of the staff you and the rest of council have been providing, which is none, this committee, something I didn’t even know existed, is obviously just a sham. Particularly when one of its members (i.e. you) expressed so passionately how disturbed he was when asked by a voter how you ensure the information staff provides is accurate. “We have every trust in City staff,” you said. And judging from your actions, you do, and without question. Honestly, it would almost be better if there was no mayor and council. In that case, the province might step in and appoint a group along the lines of the Ontario Energy Board that might, gasp, hold the staff to account. A prospect that would no doubt give you another major-league shit conniption, along with some sleepless nights.

I also couldn’t help but notice how you crowed about being on the board of the Niagara Grape and Wine Festival. As I understand, under the stewardship of you and your fellow board members, it has devolved from a fun, impromptu street party into a highly organized, all-business affair where cash is no longer accepted as a method of payment (see above point regarding cash). It’s up to you, but you might want to consider leaving the Grape and Wine stuff off future election material.

Not that you especially care about what voters like me have to say, but it goes without saying that once again, I will not be supporting your bid for re-appointment, not as my representative to City Hall, but as the staff’s voice to residents of Grantham Ward.

All you’re really good for is providing a walking endorsement for term limits.